I Don’t Know What’s Going On With My Body But Something Is.

I don’t like to get too personal in blogposts…. I didn’t think when I wrote that, I can’t remember if I wrote a super personal blogpost before but I believe not. Anyway, I really don’t but I can’t help think that this post will have to get personal. Maybe not. Why? Because I don’t know what the hell is going on with my body and my metabolism and my head. Honestly.

I am not trying to be dramatic in any way possible, but that’s what I sound like in my head due to fiercly fast typing.
I’m one of those people who never go to the doctors. Ever. Ever. Ever. Especially for emergencies. But emergencies in my book are real emergencies. I can’t walk or talk or see.
I’m one of those people who will see difficulties appearing and everyone else that notices, ”I’m fine!”. But give me a break. I’m never ever sick. My whole life I have been healthy as a horse. If I would get flu’s or cold’s, they would last for 2 too 3 days MAX. And even that it’s twice a year. I would go to the doctors so briefly that when they would check my files, they’d go ”Oh wow, you haven’t visited in 3 years”.

But now I’ve reached a point where I don’t want to go to the doctors, but I’m secretly hoping each day I miss I don’t die.

I’m making this sound so serious, like I’m having my skin peal off each day more and more and I’m puking after every meal. No. But something IS wrong and something is changing.

For about two months now, I have been sneezing dry sneeze’s. If that makes sense. I’m perfectly fine (i really am) but I keep sneezing and coughing. This could be an allergic reaction to something but I can’t figure out what it is since it happens randomly in random places.

My back is hurting a lot more and my bones all together. Now, not agonising pain but for someone who’s literally never had any problems, you notice the tinniest details. My back hurt as soon as I sit somewhere for too long in one position (talking like 20 minutes), my knees hurt a lot more, my elbow’s, my fingers.
I actually fucked my elbow up by hitting it on something really bad. A wound is on the actual bone. It hurts from change of weather, believe it or not. It would be fine for six months, and then suddenly it would have this massive pain as soon as I tried to support myself by laying on it. In the bus, I wouldn’t be able to lift my arm and put my elbow on the window edges. It would hurt. Why am I going on about this? But this is very dangerous. Knees are just as, if not more tricky when damaged. It’s a lifelong damage.

I have had conjuctivitis for so long now. I can’t get over this flipping infection. It made me cry today because I am not used to feeling ill and feeling ill makes me feel weak and almost hopeless. I have it right now and if I showed you guys my left eye, you would cringe. Not because it’s ugly or too infected, it looks sad. I look like one of those sad sick puppies. No matter what I do I look like I’m crying, like I’m tired, or like I’m SICK.

My throat is hurting insanely bad. It hurts when I swallow, when I drink, when I eat, even when I sneeze. And that actually appeared today. Not long ago. At first I thought it was because my dad is a fierce smoker and seriously, his room- lay on his bed and everything STINKS of cigars. It’s disgusting. I am not a smoker so this obviously BOTHERS me. It hurts my nose sometimes but even when we ventilalated? it still didn’t go away.

I have stomach and head aches far too often and I am often very cold, even though no one around me is.

Now, after going these few things, I know what you’re thinking: GO GET CHECKED OUT. I know that sitting here writing about some symptoms isn’t going to help me but

I really want to say that it’s because I am scared of the answer, but If I’m being honest, My ego’s telling me it’s nothing and it’ll pass. But my brain doesn’t agree. Which one do I listen too.

It’s getting so frustrating, especially with this eye infection. I’m going to the Pharmacy tomorrow to pick up ANOTHER medicine that might help which is stronger. This eye infection DOES scare me. First of all, eye’s are insanely sensitive, insanely important and insanely damage-friendly. It doesn’t help me at all I wear glasses and often eye infections can loosen eye sight and I really don’t need that.

I know, I know, I’m gonna go to the doctors, if not tomorrow. I’m gonna explain to her what’s been happening, even though I am terrified of the response. You know what’s the crazy part? It could be nothing. Plus I am kind off pissed off at my regular doctor. She was kind of a bitch when it came to approving my absent days in school. But, I’ll get over it.

But I am a pessimistic optimist, so I have a list of things that my head is imagining these symptoms mean. You don’t want to know those, you’ll roll your eyes. And see, my back is hurting like hell right now.

Please Greater Force, let 2015 be a healthy year. Health is what comes first for me. Everything else will come on it’s own.

Please.

3 thoughts on “I Don’t Know What’s Going On With My Body But Something Is.

  1. I’m so skeptical of doctors but there comes a point and time when you need to go and get checked out. I think it might be that time for you! At the end of the day, they can diagnose you with whatever but its up to you whether you want to take the medication(s) they will prescribe you. You can always take their diagnosis and find natural ways of healing these issues. It’s totally up to you but it doesn’t seem like over the counter shit has been working for you…

    Like

  2. Hrmm…If no one else will say it…I will…

    GO TO THE DOCTOR!

    I understand your fears towards finding out what it could be, but seriously, IF it is something..and that’s a big ‘IF’, then the sooner they figure it out the better. I feel for you, and here’s to hoping that it’s nothing serious. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hehe, well someone has to be the first.
      My mom thinks it’s nothing serious but definitely should be checked out with my doctors, in order to get the proper medicines. At the moment, I think I’m having a really bad flu. All signs are there except a fever (Praise Jesus)
      Thank you for your concern. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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