I hope you’re having the most wonderful day today. Merry Christmas to you all! Be happy and enjoy yourself, I hope you all got what you asked for this year!
Love you all!
I hope you’re having the most wonderful day today. Merry Christmas to you all! Be happy and enjoy yourself, I hope you all got what you asked for this year!
Love you all!
I wish you all a healthy and loving Christmas to come and the most jolly holidays. I send my love to you all, have the best Christmas you can possibly imagine, spend time with your loved ones and cherish each moment with them. I hope all of your deepest wishes come true and all in all, have a wonderful time at this special time of year 🙂
I’m an over thinker and I realize this, I accept it, and so do people around me. The day that you, my fellow reader will be celebrating Christmas is in four days and New years is in 10 days. I’m not feeling the joy for either of them.
I don’t know what’s happening with me this year, I don’t know why so much cynicism and almost hate towards the holidays this year. I did not like 2015, I can most honestly say it has been the most sarcastic and uneventful year of my life and frankly, with the most shocks. In the shortest amount of time I got more shocking and heartbreaking news than in the past 3 years and it’s been constant stress over and over. I think the biggest shock of all was about two months ago, when I heard that my aunt found out she has breast cancer. The first in the family.
That was definitely a big frown upon my family. Luckily everything that was needed to know, was known in time and from that side, everything is okay, which is amazing. She’s going to be okay and she has to be okay. All of the odds are on her side.
But none the less, shocks like this and in a few other forms are enough to break ones spirit. I am spending New Years eve alone, depending on my dad’s work schedule. I want to say that doesn’t bother me because it’s almost my own fault.
I rejected my friend who invited me to celebrate with her, I rejected a few other people that have asked me because I don’t feel like celebrating. I don’t feel like being with people at all. I’m not saying I regret it all that much. If I wanted to have friends around I had more than enough options, but I don’t know. My sadness over being alone doesn’t overflow the uncomfortable, uneasy and dislike feeling of actually accepting and being with people.
I already see the upcoming year and it makes me cry, if that makes any sense to say. I am crying. I just want time to stop and let me be for awhile. I feel way too much pressure. If I honestly could move right now, be with the one man I love who’s far away and even stay at home all the time I would.
Next year brings even more pressure I truly, honestly don’t want to face, because I’m scared. I don’t want to finish this school year in July, because in September I’ll be a Senior. I’ll be turning 18 in April, which is the legal age of being an adult, I don’t want that. I don’t understand the fascination of growing up, unless you’re in perfect or amazing conditions. There’s more things I can’t mention that scare me by the thought and haunt me at night, so much I end up crying and regretting waking up. That day I wake up, I’m just another day closer to facing it all.
I know that’s a part of growing up and I know it’s supposed to be scary. Everyone goes through it, but damn, that doesn’t make it easier. Sometimes I feel like It’s a bigger problem in my head than what I am projecting to anyone else. Like it’s worse for me in my head than everybody thinks.
I didn’t mean for this post to end so sadly. I was going to end it with a positive message to leave all your negative energy and have a good time at the holidays, because these only happen once a year. But my thoughts drifted I guess.
I hope there’s someone who can tell me what I could do to put my mind at ease, because my hair’s fallin’ out from this stress.
How are you guys spending Christmas and New Years eve? I truly hope with a lot of joy and happiness. Happy Monday to you all!
Having the childhood I have had and having dealt with all the things I have ever since I was 5 years old, there’s a few people in my life that are irreplaceable for the spots in my heart as someone who’s stood by me even when I thought of giving up on myself.
My mother and my very best friend Kristina. They both mean the absolute world to me and I don’t say that just because my mom is my mom and I’m ”supposed” to love her and know she is always beside me. Nothing is guaranteed and her support shouldn’t be taken for granted. As something that’s obviously supposed to be there. She didn’t have to be the mother and best friend she is today. She didn’t have to go into such depths with me, to understand me completely and truly see the world from my point of view just so she can give me one advice. She didn’t have to do anything, she did all of it because yeah she loved me, on that front a mother has no choice, but a mother who is your biggest support and best friend and safest mirror is a gift everyone lucky enough to have should cherish.
My best friend suffered through a lot with me. I don’t mean emotionally, at least I hope she didn’t. I hope I never hurt her enough to make her suffer for anything. I mean she did a lot of things for me no other friend would. She listened to me for hours and hours and hours on end just so I get all of the puzzles from my head and try to sort them out, many times over the same time like no other friend would. She has always had something to say, always been careful with what she says to me to not accidentally hurt me or offend me or make me feel unwanted or abandoned. She always had an answer. I am 100% aware that there must’ve been times when she was desperate and didn’t know what else to say to me because I had drained all of the words out of her and brainwashed her thoughts, but she always kept going.
And so did my mom.
Their approval, opinion and advice means everything to me. I feel weird doing something my best friend or mom don’t approve off. But even then, they’re still so wonderful to tell me that I shouldn’t worry, because even if I am making the wrong choice they’ll stand by me through it and support me when it fails if it does. That gives me strength and confidence.
Many times I often just tell them what I will do or am planning to do, but in any case they stand by me. I always know their opinion, good or bad, especially my mom’s, but sometimes it stirs me the right way, and I am thankful each time.
Many don’t have a shoulder or ear to turn too and maybe receive help when they’re unsure if they’re doing the right thing or not. I am mature enough to realize how happy I actually am, because of them.
I have not been the best daughter, or the best friend I wish I could’ve been to Kristina, but she’s still mine. Funny how love works isn’t it?
At the same time they are my strength, my shield, my armor, my handkerchiefs, my insides, I am theirs as well.
Through every storm, who’s ever it is, we are lion hearts and we walk together through the storm, and I think my mom and Kristina are the only two hands I feel safe holding. I like to believe I am theirs as well.
My mom has told me more than once that sometimes I am the only one she can turn too, as well as my best friend, and I value that. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that someone feels the same way about me as I do for them, because I know just how much I love them both.
If they tell me it’s okay, if they tell me I’m doing the right thing, I have peace and serenity in my heart, because I know that even if we are all wrong and it’s not the right choice, nothing changes.
I wish this upon every single one of you. I hope you all have that special someone in your life who’s always been there for you.
But not just that. Not just someone who’s always been there for you, I wish you all have that person who you love so much and who you know will always love you, and who will always BE there for you. To be confident that you’re not losing this person anytime soon.
What inspired this post is this particular song:
Lionhearts by Demi Lovato
I listen to this song and imagine a rough and stormy road in front of me and me facing my troubles that come along the way, and the only two people I see walking with me or supporting me from the side is them two.
And as long as I know they’re behind me, I’m marching to the beat of the storm and we walk together into the light.
I try to tell my mom and Kristina as much as I can how much I would be completely lost without them, but I think deep down in their hearts they know. But they deserve to hear it.
If you have anyone in your life you value or love, show them love and never take them for granted. Realize what you have and learn to value whatever good or positive they bring into your life. Every little thing counts and every little thing matters.
If someone’s not there for you for the silliest and littlest things, bet your dollar they won’t show up for the big hardships.
To me, it’s actually a little bit early in the game. I know it’s December 12th and for those who celebrate Christmas on the 25th, which is in 13 days it’s long overdue probably, but that’s not the case with me.
I celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January, different calendars you know. We should celebrate it on the 25th, because Jesus was born on 25th of December, not the 7th of January but, it’s been like this for a long time. It’s been suggested to make the change, but the reaction isn’t satisfying. I guess that’s fine. Holidays seem to last longer this way. Many around the world start the holiday cheers and decorations as soon as December comes and my country follows, so everything feels Christmassy very very early. The only problem is that the Christmas channels and movies are aired throughout December, and when the time comes for my family to celebrate Christmas, the channels slowly stop, because for the rest the holidays have pretty much ended. This sucks bad, because sometimes you want to sit down and drink hot chocolate and spontaneously stumble upon a Christmas movie, which is rare in January, as suppose to getting your USB cube and watch a movie.
Anyhow, for today it was planned to decorate the house with lights, the Christmas tree and we wanted to try decorating the outside of our house, or the front door with a Christmas arch around it. I don’t think we’ll succeed in that, and not too fascinated with the idea only and I mean only because lights on the arch aren’t included. We don’t have automatic lights, and we don’t have anywhere to plug in the lights and the point of the decorations outside is to make a certain part of the house pop and stand out. That’s beautiful.
This is the time of year where I should be getting really excited and cheerful, especially about decorating the Christmas tree, but for someone reason, this year I’m not feeling it at all.
My mom is usually the most excited person in the room for making the home look very Christmas appropriate, but even she isn’t all that fascinated this year. I’m not sure why, but she definitely won’t let it result in her not decorating at all. To her, it’s not New Years without a tree, but honestly. She still has Some Christmas spirit left, but it’s doom and gloom at the moment.
If you were to ask me anything, at this point I’d just buy a pre-decorated Christmas tree in two different colors, maybe red and silver, or dark blue and silver, place on the 1st of January, just so I’ll have it when time to celebrate Christmas comes. So the house is not quite bare on such a cozy holiday.
Well none the less, I pushed that negativity aside and helped mom decorate the tree and it looks really cute and beautiful.
How do you guys like it? 🙂 All it needs are lot’s and lot’s of presents underneath. I mean, why waste so much room, it’s there for a reason am I right? Preferably labeled “For Marija”. I’m such a great kid.
It’s already half past five, I don’t think anything else will be done to the house tonight. And whatever isn’t done today, won’t be done at all.
I actually feel like laying in bed and falling asleep but I won’t do that. Eating is way more precious.
Have you guys decorated your house yet? Show me pictures please of your Christmas tree if you’ve decorated or when you do decorate it. My mom and I, or well at least I am browsing new ways we can decorate ours. And it’s always nice seeing beautiful Christmas trees. They all are actually.
I hope you guys had a wonderful day. I will head off. I’m going to do some “arts and crafts”, and by that I mean cut pictures out of old magazines and make all types of collages with them. Cheers!
I don’t think I’ve ever done a post like this, or even similar to this. Maybe in forms of a specific situation that hurt me or annoyed me at the time, but never a list of a “few” specific details about everyday life or in general, what annoys me. I may split this into a few posts and long ones I might add.
I may add that I might swear a time or two in this post, because it’s sometimes the best way to get your point across. If you don’t mind that, let’s start;
❄ When people treat their pets badly in front of me. That sets my heart on fire and I want to bash their face in, you do not deserve that wonderful animal.
❄ When I buy snacks or candy for myself and bring it home, and for instance someone’s at home, we have a guest or my little sister who’s 5, asks me if I’ll eat it right now and I reply No, I’ll save it for later, don’t open it now, and I leave the house for even an hour and I come back to an empty bag of crisps. I said I’ll eat it later, I don’t mind sharing a little bit, but no one told you to eat my snacks while I was away.
❄ Smokers who decide they want to light up a cigarette in the middle of strolling down the street. If I am obliged to walk past you, with you or even behind you, I don’t want to be obliged to have your smoke in my face from every angle I walk by, because it goes right, left, straight and backwards. Have some decency.
❄ When people think they know everything but know very very little, or nothing at all. And they’re so sure of themselves when they talk about whatever it is, they get fired up and almost angry at you, but you fucking know they don’t know what they’re talking about, especially if you know the truth. What the fuck are you doing? Who are you showing off for?
❄ When good friends keep things from me. This might be a little personal irritation button, but I don’t like when I know that someone finds me a good, close friend who they have trust in, or even worse my best friend, and they hide things from me in front of me.
Be it a text from your boyfriend, another friend, your mother messaged you, a picture with your boyfriend on your phone, your fucking phone password or pin, and they’re like “Nope” and irritatingly smile like it’s supposed to be amusing?
I understand that everyone is different and many couples have their own sets of privacy, but I just don’t understand the literal hiding. I come and sit next to you and you turn sideways so I don’t see who you’re texting?
Remind me to never be intentionally interested again, in anything you do.
❄ In public transport and outside it, when people don’t have the courtesy to apologize for pushing you, bumping into you or stepping onto the back of your foot while they were walking. What is that? For me, it’s a momental reaction be say So sorry, Sorry mam, Sorry sir. Rude.
❄ When people generalize things. All vegans, all vegetarians, all males, all females, all Christians, all atheists, all ex’s, all boyfriends. No.
Not all men are the same in relationships, you keep picking the same type of guy over and over. Something new? He’s a faggot, too poor, too neat, too stylish, gay, too goth, too sensitive, too this, too that. Shut the fuck up.
❄ People who constantly post facebook statuses like: “Feeling depressed”, I’m so upset, This has been the worst day of my life, and a bunch of sad emoji’s and someone else comments, What’s up, what happened, tell me all about it. And the replies are “I’ll inbox you”, or “I don’t want to talk about it” or “I don’t want to bother anyone with my problems”.
Not that I truly cared what you’re upset about,but now that you have gone out of your way to purposely make it so that no one knows publicly, now I either want to know because now it’s a mystery, or it annoys me ’cause you’re craving attention, which is probably the case.
❄ When people aren’t paying attention at all to what I am saying and I am having a conversation with them. They look through me or they look the other way and give out sighs or “Mhm”, “Yeah yeah”, or just nod their head. Excuse me, but I am talking. Tell me if you want me to stop.
❄ When people pretend to be interested in your life and why you are upset or down and ask of you to share it with them, and you do, thinking you’ll talk about it and someone replies with “Oh, that’s too bad”, “Oh, I feel sorry for you”, “Oh, well it’ll get better, I’m off now!” or any irrelevant comment like they just read about you on the news and scrolled down.
Are you fucking kidding me? Why did you ask me, to fill in the five minutes you had nothing to do before you went to do it?
I didn’t even expect you’d care when we started talking, now when you’ve asked me you gave me false hope you actually did care and wanted to listen. You just made me feel worse.
❄ On that note, It extremely extremely annoys me when you share your pain or problem with a person, the first response is anything similar too:
Oh, I know that feeling, I’ve been through worse, let me tell you what I’ve been through. And the conversation suddenly becomes about them.
OR, if they’re REALLY an asshole, they say anything similar too: Don’t dramatize, you need to chill, I’ve been through worse, and I got out of it, that’s nothing, how can you care about that, my problem was a lot worse and I didn’t react like that?
No? How VERY fortunate for you.
Because you went through worse, it means that my problem and the pain it caused me is any less painful than your problem? Fucking no. Get out of here.
Wow, that’s about the length I thought it would be. Cheers if you made it thus far! That was quite refreshing to share, I’m sure lot’s of you went through or go through the same things and I’m not even done. Is anyone ever really?
Recently I’ve gotten into a lot of arguments with various people when discussing materialism and what makes who happy. First of all, let’s call up a good friend like Google: What does it mean when you are a materialistic person;
The act of caring more about THINGS than people;
If we are going to be extreme and literal, we are materialistic when people get super excited about a Christmas gift, or birthday gift or any holiday/event that requires receiving a gift from a loved one. The gift is likely to be a material possession, like a book, scarf, expensive shoes, lingerie, expensive branded make-up, perfumes, or even a piece of gum.
It’s well likely to be something that, that person will love and use.
And that’s perfectly okay. But I don’t take the accusation of being a materialistic person lightly. It hurts me because it’s unfair. I can honestly say I have never met a person in my life that truly by heart valued material things above all else. I truly don’t know what that’s like, but I’m sure people like that exist.That’s a very big step to take in accusing someone.
What triggered this post the most is the fact that I have been called a materialistic person for something I don’t think is worthy to pin a label like that on me, but what’s more, when I tried to be a good listener and ask, what have I done to make you make that assumption, I heard the most ridiculous explanations I could hear.
By having different interests, people’s excitement is different for different things.
So many variations here, I can’t name everything and all types of people that can love all types of things. One person can love 10 different things.
The things that make me happy may be the most natural things to make a person happy, some may be unusual but are we going to fall down so low and end up having to explain ourselves why we love certain things and why they make us happy?
I am not ashamed to say that new technology excites me. Be it computers, laptops, phones, whatever it may be. To me it’s shinny and useful and can be beautiful. Heck, without a computer, I wouldn’t be writing my thoughts that I love to write right now.
When the new GalaxyS6 came out, I fell in love with the phone. It’s beautiful on it’s own and believe me when I say that I have memorized every corner of the phone and I see it three meters away from me, and I say, that’s the galaxys6. I get extremely happy at the thought of having it, holding it, so shinny and pretty and I was called an extreme materialist for loving it.
This made me extremely angry and disappointed in many. Why? Just answer me why? Are you that ignorant to not realize the phrase “In love with the phone” is merely an exaggeration of affection? I don’t value the phone over my friends, I wouldn’t betray my friends for the phone, I wouldn’t choose to pay for the phone over something that required it more, like health or help to anyone I care about. I want to have it if I can yes, why not? If I can pay for it and it makes me happy, why not? To prove something to you? Stand in line and wait until I care enough.
Has it seriously become necessary to explain yourself over stupid bullshit like this? I can’t buy the phone and I realize that the money that would require to buy it can be used for more useful things. But I am a materialistic person because I get excited when I talk about it, and when I see it and say It’s so freaking beautiful?
Am I wrong? Is there a difference between loving and wanting a beautiful pair of Rag & Bone jeans that cost over 100-200$ and a beautiful expensive phone? Or 500$ branded shoes and a phone? Correct me if I’m wrong.
It’s just what people enjoy, what brings out happiness out of them, why is that bad? I could care less about Mac and NYC make up.
I for example, LOVE stationeries, pencils, mechanical pencils, markers, notebooks, reminders, letters, erasers, sharpeners, books, shelfs, beautiful home offices, shinny expensive desks, lamps.
I would much rather buy a collection of all mechanical pencils, markers and notebooks, books and have a shelf full of office supply stuff, cozy it up in my own personal dream office I would love one day to have in my house, where I would write -work, and hopefully grade a lot of tests and papers of my students – have a collection of Nike and Adidas sneakers, than buy a make-up collection by Mac, NYC, Urban Decay etc. And both are perfectly okay to be excited for and talked about.
I don’t understand. Truly.