My Five Star Reads with Sprinkles

I read a blogpost yesterday titled “5 star reads of 2021”, something along those lines and it inspired me to write this. I have always loved to read, I always found comfort in reading and there was a moment in my life where I realized I read my best when I’m having a rough time.
This is common though, no? I feel like it may be. Escaping what you already know.
I don’t want to sit here and lie, there would be no point in that. I got out of my ”reading slump”, if you can call it that, about four months ago. I wouldn’t call myself in no way an experienced reader. Hell, I will feel odd writing a “review” due to the fact I would feel completely incompetent to share my incomplete and messy thoughts.

Although I have to say if I summed up my five star reads of 2021, the list would consist of two books. Literally. My five star reads are picked very carefully and I almost don’t like saying that because I feel like the emotions a book pulls from you are the ones that make the judgement call. I can credit a book by the writing, the plot, the twists, the ending, the quality of the writing style regardless of my personal preferences, of course – but I just feel that a five star read needs to be felt, in every single way. That may be my best description yet of a five star read.

Now, apologies in advance for my rusty and dusty way of expressing myself, please bear in mind I took a very long break from writing down my thoughts or experiences altogether. I joke that my brain had gone quite rusty and needs a goood grease of the wheels for WHICH I found books make a good substitute! Letting yourself go almost disoriented in life and surrounding yourself with people that don’t benefit your “brain hunger” takes a big tool on your mental health and the way you approach everything.

Anyhow, I’ve already gotten way too sidetracked. BOOKS!

Now, I am going to start with my five star reads. I have two. As I said, my five star read is not and cannot be faulted. I have nothing negative to say about them, which is why there are two. For now.

Now, let me provide you with a brief synopsis. A very brief one. Tracey Whitney and her journey. A woman who has it all and all is stolen away from her in one day. One impulsive decision leaves her getting arrested and in jail.
Her revenge becomes her passion.
Sidney is an outstanding storyteller and I am glad a lot of people recognize this fact. This book falls into the Thriller genre, but this book has it all. Intrigue, intelligence, humor, suspense, excitement and a tiny glimpse of romance. I have heard a lot of people get overwhelmed by the action in this book and I can concur that it makes your breath stop only because Tracey does not stop. The restlessness, bravery, (or sheer negligence?) and risk taking makes you want to take a breather, but you cannot. You started reading this book and you are going to finish it. Trust me.

This book. I am not going to lie, I got on the Colleen Hoover bandwagon only due to the explosion of her books on TikTok i.e. YouTube. There is not a YouTube book video that includes the persons all time favorite book or one of them, that does not include a Collen Hoover book. I read three of her books back to back, the only three ones that are available in paperback form in our bookstores and in this order – “Ugly love”, “Verity”, “It ends with us”. Reading the summary of this book, I will understand if you roll your eyes so hard you see your skull twice. Not to discriminate any book that may have the plot of a love triangle unfolding and the main twist is who gets picked – but this book is so much more than that. The summary you read will make you feel as though you will be reading exactly that – a love triangle drama. No. This book and my rating of it may have something to do with the fact it touched me on a personal level. My unfortunate periods of my childhood. The main character Lily will meet one person, Ryle, that will make her question all that she thought she knew her life would be, and recounter a dear person from her past, Atlas, to remind her what her life needs to be. That is as much as I can tell you without giving you spoilers and even this seems unfair. I don’t want it to come across as an excruciatingly heavy and dark book, it is not. I think Colleen Hoover did an amazing job at portraying the complexity of a persons (in this case womans) mindset when struck with the question “How far is too far”, and that’s just one question.
People who have read this I’m sure are nodding their heads. I cried, I cried multiple times on multiple occasions in the book. I have no bad thing to say about it. Read it.

It would be completely unreasonable to leave out a few honorable mentions.

“One day in December” by Josie Silver was a book whose first 70 pages I read for two weeks. Two weeks. I got annoyed with myself. It was slow, but I said I was going to read it. I read the other 200+ pages in one sitting. A lot of mixed feelings about this book, I understand them. I realize this book is one I will re-read in different stages in my life in different ages and each time I will have a different view and rating. 99% it will be a much lower rating. As of right now, in my early twenties, still not understanding a lot of life, it’s a 4/5. It made an impression on me.

4.5/5 but let’s simplify it and call it a 4/5. A good, solid book. You see what I mean when I say that it all depends on how the book affected you? A heartbreaking twist on a juicy and erotic story.
Definitely recommend. It is a quality book and Colleen has a style that I would call “Expect the unexpected”.

The poetic writing style was not for me, even though sometimes beautiful and touching, it kept breaking my concentration. Very hard to explain. That is the only but rather crucial point why I deducted a point. If you know what I mean, you know.

Here’s a few more;
“The green mile” – Stephen King
“Punk 57” – Penelope Douglas
“Before I saw you” – Emily Houghton

This is not the post in which I want to go over the few flops, but there were a couple, of course. We’ll save those for now. In the upcoming weeks I’ll go over the bad, the mediocre, the up and coming, all of it. The last four months fit quite a number of books on my shelf!

At the moment, I just finished today “Harry Potter an the Prisoner of Azkaban”. I am going through the Harry Potter series yet again!
I have a craving though, before I move on to “Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire”, to read Colleen Hoovers “November 9” on my Kindle. And you know what? I will do that and start that as soon as I hit Publish! Well that was easy.

Anyhow, again, I think I’ve suffocated you enough. I would really really really love to hear your thoughts, opinions, suggestions. Have you read any of these four books, did this post strike an intrigue within about these books? Your favorites? Let me know!

5 years later…

First of all, to anyone and everyone who viewed my posts, read them or visited them over the years, thank you. I cannot promise a lot will come from this post or what will, I am going into it blindly. Here we go and bare with me. It’ll be a long one.

A lot has changed. I’ve grown, in more ways than one. I was baffled when I stumbled upon this site. It was like stepping into a time machine at least. Seeing my fifteen year old self write and express herself the way I had here, on a rather broad variety of topics I might add, was inspiring. Very inspiring.

The first and only question that came to mind which I did not and do not have an answer to is ”Why did I stop?”. It could bring tears to my eyes if I let it but I’m going to try and resist. I’m proud of everything I wrote here which may seem so unimportant and silly to you reading, but I lost myself quite a lot during these five years. Reading through the posts made me feel like I’m finding lost pieces of a misplaced puzzle.

I would say I lost myself and found little bits and pieces here and there as the years went on, but seeing my enthusiasm and passion radiating through a lot of the posts on this blog and the previous one which I will not show (that’s a blast to my thirteens and fourteens, I’ll spare you) warmed and ached my heart.
One of the reasons why the thought of deleting this blog and throwing all of the posts into the trash bin felt very sad. I’m not prepared to throw that part of my life away and deleting everything felt just like that.

I will need to update the “About me” post, although a lot of what is written in that post still stands to this day. I still live in Serbia, I still don’t know how to ride a bike, I’m still not going to climb a tree voluntarily, I am still a cat enthusiast, but generally an extreme animal lover. I still enjoy reading books, writing, I still aspire to be a teacher, still 5’4 (remember how I said I’ve grown in more than one way, that wasn’t one of them) … Some things never change.
Some do.

For starters, I am not fifteen anymore. I am twenty-three, going on twenty-four in April. Hm, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Let me think.
I went through High School, I would say pretty successfully. I enrolled into a Philology college and did not have enough money to continue my education after not getting approved for a scholarship due to two missing points in my final report. TWO. I said two. That may be confusing I realize, a lot of things are very different from country to country. In the mean time, I’ve found a wonderful, beautiful man and picked him to be my partner in crime. Still going strong – three and a half years today (12.12.) I changed four jobs after realizing college was not an option for me anymore, or at least for the time being anyway. Happy with my current one that I’ll get into details about another time.

I always imagined myself moving out of my parents house early. It was always associated with the cliché American dream of being sixteen, buying a car for myself and moving out by the age of 18. (For those who succeed at this, how did you do it?) That is a mighty badass thing to accomplish.
I applaud.
I’m not complaining though. I consider moving out to start a life with your partner at twenty-one a big accomplishment.
Especially for it to be a well thought-out process that took patience and money to buy a few appliances and furniture. It was not an impulsive decision, motivated by corrupted desires. It was a wholesome mutual decision and acceptance for the relationship to grow and move forward.

I’m scared of publishing this post. I’m sorry if it felt like a very gloomy one if you’re still reading. It’s all over the place but I’m hoping the next one will be more upbeat. Publishing this one leaves a mark I will leave after five years. Five years since I posted, seven years since I started the blog. I don’t want another five to past before I leave another one. Hell, another one year in fact. I know it relies on me. I accept that and I will try to redeem myself. Make my younger self proud sort of speak.


To anyone who may read this, how are YOU? What have YOU been up to? You may not believe me but I truly am interested and would love to hear whatever you have to say.
I’m gonna stop while I’m still ahead and catch up to some of my fellow bloggers.

Cheers everyone 🙂


Christmas Traditions

This may surprise some of you, but yes tomorrow is Christmas day for me. As our Christmas goes, so do our traditions. I’m a bit rusty at explaining them, because some of these traditions are (I think) mainly ours, and I never thought I’d translate them to another language. Even English.

The very first thing that is a must, we always fast the day before Christmas, for us called “Badnje veče” or Christmas eve. So nothing that is of any animal source. Sadly, fish isn’t included, because it’s a water animal, which is discrimination. It’s an animal non the less, but most of the time fish is cooked the day before Christmas or baked beans.

Now bear this with me, this will be very hard to explain, but I’ll show you a few pictures.
badnjak-2

What you see in the picture is dried leaves of various oak trees, with twigs and branches made into some sort of bouquet, which is a tradition to bring this into your house the day before Christmas. It is called a Badnjak, which is why Christmas eve for us is translated Badnje vece, vece means eve.

There is no real translation as to what this truly means, or at least I can’t find the right words, but basically, our story says that on the day that Jesus Christ was born, “badnjak”, plural, were lit in a bonfire to warm the new born baby and his mother. After your lunch, many people, as well as myself and my family, go to church where the bonfire happens. People bring another set of their Badnjak and throw it in the fire and drink boiled wine, sometimes sweetened with honey.

That’s where I came from 20 minutes ago, and I’ll share a picture with you guys.
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There is no real routine on the actual day of Christmas. You wake up, have a toast, and feel merry. Usually, my country bakes some sort of bread;

cesnica

Don’t be mistaken, it’s not a cake, it’s just very decorated bread, called “Česnica”. The tradition is to put one coin in it, while you make it, bake it and right before you start your Christmas lunch, all of your family members stand in a circle around the table, spin it in their hands together in the air, and break it apart.
Everyone takes their own piece and whoever get’s the piece with a coin in it, will have the most luck and fortune will come to them throughout the year. And there’s no cheating. Some families who feel that the oldest male in the household should always get it cheat and plan where the coin will be, but my family doesn’t do that.

When I was younger, I almost always got it.

I sure hope that some of these traditions you guys have heard of, or maybe even do them your household. I honestly celebrate Christmas this way because it’s a cozy, nice way to bring my family together and it makes my mom really happy.

Today I tried blackberry wine for the first time and I must say I was amazed. I don’t like alcohol, at all, but if I had to pick one alcoholic drink that I would drink it’s wine. Red wine. I’m having my third glass right now, and that’s saying a lot for me.

I hope you guys are having a nice evening. I am sipping my wine slowly, talking to friends and nibbling on my almonds.

I’ll update you guys tomorrow on my cozy Christmas!

Wishing You A Wonderful 2016

Wow, your guys’ hangover passed yet? How many of you had a crazy, unforgettable or an already forgotten night the 31st of December 2015?

I didn’t. That plot twist. I spent it with a few people close to my heart and it was fun, warm, but honestly, I am so over the celebration and pressure over New Years. It might be the weirdest, most bizarre thing to people, but New Years Eve, when you just don’t care about the celebration is the most stressful night.

Last year, I spent New Years alone at home, with 4l of Coke and music. Normally that would be completely fine, but listen. New Years Eve and January 1st, there’s one night in between. A night, in which for me I could have problems, facing a heart break, a toothache, and experience as any other night. Like April 5th going on April 6th.
I cried December 31st last year, and spent New Years crying.

Everyone thought, when I told them it’s because I was alone and felt lonely. Everyone felt sorry for me. Everyone said “Aw, poor you, you only wanted to celebrate it nicely”. Big NO.

Last year, I was completely fine until everyone called me and asked “Where are you”, “Home, alone, listening to music”, “Oh my…why?”
I cried last year out of pressure and stress. It’s not even a holiday, it’s a tradition. Because I knew everyone else that was having a good time (which is absolutely fantastic), at least my close ones were thinking of me and feeling sorry for me because I am supposedly supposed to be having the time of my life. A magical and wonderful night. Everyone expected something of me and I was really in a upsetting, heart breaking time. I’m not gonna slap on a smile, just because a Calendar says so. Kiss my booty. Ugh.

Even this year it was frustrating. It was my original plan to stay home, and the fact that I did go out just because I promised my friends I wouldn’t do that this year, made me extremely on edge and not happy the next day. I felt liked I failed myself just to prove nothing.

Aaanyway, got off track. I’m sorry, it just irritates me. I’m still on edge, who the fuck cares about New Years?
And no, I’m not a bitter hag because I probably Never experienced it the way I should, so I wouldn’t even know the joy so I rag on it. No, I’ve had plenty of wonderful New Years, crazy and extremely fun parties.
If you’re in the mood, go. But don’t pin traditions on me when I don’t feel like it.

I promise the initial plan when I started writing this post was to wish you a very happy year, I hope it’s way better than 2015. I wish you all happiness, lot’s of love and health and achieve your goals.

I want to hear your guy’s New Years experience, where’d you go, who’d you go with, what did you do? Details are fine!

Christmas coming up for me, now I’m feeling the holidays. I love you guys, have a great Saturday!

Merry Christmas Eve

I wish you all a healthy and loving Christmas to come and the most jolly holidays. I send my love to you all, have the best Christmas you can possibly imagine, spend time with your loved ones and cherish each moment with them. I hope all of your deepest wishes come true and all in all, have a wonderful time at this special time of year 🙂

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Let’s Jump To 2017, Please

I’m an over thinker and I realize this, I accept it, and so do people around me. The day that you, my fellow reader will be celebrating Christmas is in four days and New years is in 10 days. I’m not feeling the joy for either of them.

I don’t know what’s happening with me this year, I don’t know why so much cynicism and almost hate towards the holidays this year. I did not like 2015, I can most honestly say it has been the most sarcastic and uneventful  year of my life and frankly, with the most shocks. In the shortest amount of time I got more shocking and heartbreaking news than in the past 3 years and it’s been constant stress over and over. I think the biggest shock of all was about two months ago, when I heard that my aunt found out she has breast cancer. The first in the family.
That was definitely a big frown upon my family. Luckily everything that was needed to know, was known in time and from that side, everything is okay, which is amazing. She’s going to be okay and she has to be okay. All of the odds are on her side.

But none the less, shocks like this and in a few other forms are enough to break ones spirit. I am spending New Years eve alone, depending on my dad’s work schedule. I want to say that doesn’t bother me because it’s almost my own fault.

I rejected my friend who invited me to celebrate with her, I rejected a few other people that have asked me because I don’t feel like celebrating. I don’t feel like being with people at all. I’m not saying I regret it all that much. If I wanted to have friends around I had more than enough options, but I don’t know. My sadness over being alone doesn’t overflow the uncomfortable, uneasy and dislike feeling of actually accepting and being with people.

I already see the upcoming year and it makes me cry, if that makes any sense to say. I am crying. I just want time to stop and let me be for awhile. I feel way too much pressure. If I honestly could move right now, be with the one man I love who’s far away and  even stay at home all the time I would.

Next year brings even more pressure I truly, honestly don’t want to face, because I’m scared. I don’t want to finish this school year in July, because in September I’ll be a Senior. I’ll be turning 18 in April, which is the legal age of being an adult, I don’t want that. I don’t understand the fascination of growing up, unless you’re in perfect or amazing conditions. There’s more things I can’t mention that scare me by the thought and haunt me at night, so much I end up crying and regretting waking up. That day I wake up, I’m just another day closer to facing it all.

I know that’s a part of growing up and I know it’s supposed to be scary. Everyone goes through it, but damn, that doesn’t make it easier. Sometimes I feel like It’s a bigger problem in my head than what I am projecting to anyone else. Like it’s worse for me in my head than everybody thinks.

I didn’t mean for this post to end so sadly. I was going to end it with a positive message to leave all your negative energy and have a good time at the holidays, because these only happen once a year. But my thoughts drifted I guess.

I hope there’s someone who can tell me what I could do to put my mind at ease, because my hair’s fallin’ out from this stress.

How are you guys spending Christmas and New Years eve? I truly hope with a lot of joy and happiness. Happy Monday to you all!