Materialistic Wants? Not.

Recently I’ve gotten into a lot of arguments with various people when discussing materialism and what makes who happy. First of all, let’s call up a good friend like Google: What does it mean when you are a materialistic person;

excessively concerned with physical comforts or the acquisition of wealth and material possessions, rather than with spiritual, intellectual,or cultural values.

The act of caring more about THINGS than people;

If we are going to be extreme and literal, we are materialistic when people get super excited about a Christmas gift, or birthday gift or any holiday/event that requires receiving a gift from a loved one. The gift is likely to be a material possession, like a book, scarf, expensive shoes, lingerie, expensive branded make-up, perfumes, or even a piece of gum.
It’s well likely to be something that, that person will love and use.

And that’s perfectly okay. But I don’t take the accusation of being a materialistic person lightly. It hurts me because it’s unfair. I can honestly say I have never met a person in my life that truly by heart valued material things above all else. I truly don’t know what that’s like, but I’m sure people like that exist.That’s a very big step to take in accusing someone.

What triggered this post the most is the fact that I have been called a materialistic person for something I don’t think is worthy to pin a label like that on me, but what’s more, when I tried to be a good listener and ask, what have I done to make you make that assumption, I heard the most ridiculous explanations I could hear.

By having different interests, people’s excitement is different for different things.

So many variations here, I can’t name everything and all types of people that can love all types of things. One person can love 10 different things.

The things that make me happy may be the most natural things to make a person happy, some may be unusual but are we going to fall down so low and end up having to explain ourselves why we love certain things and why they make us happy?

I am not ashamed to say that new technology excites me. Be it computers, laptops, phones, whatever it may be. To me it’s shinny and useful and can be beautiful. Heck, without a computer, I wouldn’t be writing my thoughts that I love to write right now.

When the new GalaxyS6 came out, I fell in love with the phone. It’s beautiful on it’s own and believe me when I say that I have memorized every corner of the phone and I see it three meters away from me, and I say, that’s the galaxys6. I get extremely happy at the thought of having it, holding it, so shinny and pretty and I was called an extreme materialist for loving it.

This made me extremely angry and disappointed in many. Why? Just answer me why? Are you that ignorant to not realize the phrase “In love with the phone” is merely an exaggeration of affection? I don’t value the phone over my friends, I wouldn’t betray my friends for the phone, I wouldn’t choose to pay for the phone over something that required it more, like health or help to anyone I care about. I want to have it if I can yes, why not? If I can pay for it and it makes me happy, why not? To prove something to you? Stand in line and wait until I care enough.

Has it seriously become necessary to explain yourself over stupid bullshit like this? I can’t buy the phone and I realize that the money that would require to buy it can be used for more useful things. But I am a materialistic person because I get excited when I talk about it, and when I see it and say It’s so freaking beautiful?

Am I wrong? Is there a difference between loving and wanting a beautiful pair of Rag & Bone jeans that cost over 100-200$ and a beautiful expensive phone? Or 500$ branded shoes and a phone? Correct me if I’m wrong.

It’s just what people enjoy, what brings out happiness out of them, why is that bad? I could care less about Mac and NYC make up.
I for example, LOVE stationeries, pencils, mechanical pencils, markers, notebooks, reminders, letters, erasers, sharpeners, books, shelfs, beautiful home offices, shinny expensive desks, lamps.

I would much rather buy a collection of all mechanical pencils, markers and notebooks, books and have a shelf full of office supply stuff, cozy it up in my own personal dream office I would love one day to have in my house, where I would write -work, and hopefully grade a lot of tests and papers of my students – have a collection of Nike and Adidas sneakers, than buy a make-up collection by Mac, NYC, Urban Decay etc. And both are perfectly okay to be excited for and talked about.

I don’t understand. Truly.

Don’t Run Away From Your Problems, Solve Them.

I spent the morning crying. For the past five days I have really enlarged my “quote wall” I talked about a long time ago on here. I felt like I needed it and even though I don’t necessarily like these types of quotes, this one speaks out to me because it sinks courage into me. It’s real.

Just because you ran away from your problem, doesn’t mean the problem is gone. It’s still there, waiting. You’ve just distanced yourself from it. Eventually it’ll catch up to bite you in the reer, because it was left unresolved. Basically like F’s and bad grades in school. It’s something I’m trying to follow to ease my head.

Along with my all time favorite quote;

It’s not my definite favorite but it’s definitely in the top five. I need this as a framed picture in my house. I am a very compassionate person that tries to satisfy everyone that matter to me, even if it means letting myself go for a little while. It goes out of hand, but some people are worth it. Sometimes it get’s confusing and in all honestly tiering, but I have a big conscience that makes everything harder and more painful.

These two together, they kind of crash heads, but I need them in my head 24/7 in order to make decisions. To be brave enough to do something I am afraid too, yet to think wisely about what that truly is and what is the true problem at hand.
Because they need to resolved

Feelings Suck.

I love this so much. I can relate to it in every possible sense but at the moment it is hurting me to even think about it.

All those thoughts and hopes I talked about in very late 2014/very early 2015 just might shatter and be left to nothing. My year has definitely not been going the way it was planned. I can’t say it’s been worse, but nothing good I was hoping for happened either. And it’s been killing me the past few weeks.

I’m at that point in a relationship with someone (not a romantic relationship, but a relation with romantic feelings) where I’m thinking about the well being of that person 90% more than the well being of myself. I don’t want to think about me, I want to think about him and what’s best for him. I’m at that point where I’m realizing that everything I have experienced with this person, and all the love I feel for him and have felt throughout these past 3 years is enough for me to hold onto as a memory if the day should come I need to let go completely. And I feel like that day is approaching very fast.
I’m at that point where you love someone way too much to keep them for your own selfish reasons if staying isn’t doing any good for them and whereyou actually feel you could accept it, for the possible well being of that person.

He’s very far away from me and that distance means nothing to us, compared to how we feel in our hearts. Sadly, the distance means very much to our seperate lives that keep going seperate ways. It’s breaking my heart because it is not a black and white situation. Nor are we throwing in the towel at the first bump. The struggle’s have been going on for the past year and a half and it’s becoming extremely hard for him. Not because we are impatient or just don’t want to hurt anymore, but because it’s becoming impossible to maintain anything with the schedule’s he has that he by the way hates.

Nothing’s been said yet exclusively, but I feel it coming. It’s that feeling when you know, but you avoid actually saying it our loud. You delay the pain of saying it out loud. No decision has been made so far, but with any, I know that what I feel is strong enough to let myself be happy as long as he’s happy. Damn, that is so hard to say. It’s so hard to comprihend. Should a ”split up” happen, I know that it can’t in any way be better than where we are now, but we’re both thinking for the long run. Some things are just becoming neccessary and important but undoable with us still standing in this one spot. More for him than for me but it’s enough.

I cried every day the past week, thinking it over and over and if we’ll make a mistake by pulling the final straw. I don’t like to listen to things like ”There will always be another guy”, ”Life is trial and error”, ”Some things are just not meant to last”, ”Not all the people in your life are meant to stay”. No. I don’t want none of that from my friends.

I don’t know what I want to hear but it’s not that. That’s a crock off b/ icing on an already over-flowing cake. No one needs to hear that while going through it. I want to listen to sad songs I can relate too while I stuff vanilla ice cream down my throat and appreciate everything that has happened and that I got to experience something like I had, but still cry because that person meant too much. And I want hugs. That’s it.

Now I’ll go, before I start crying again. I would never wish a heart like mine upon someone, not in this state. It’s horrible. I wish that upon no one. The future that we hold is so unclear…

The Truth

Animal quotes 0005

YES. This is so hard for some people to accept and I can kind off understand why. I don’t justify it, I just understand it.

I know that I tend to get on edge when people try to convince me that some animal is better than another, like why dogs are better than cats. I don’t like to be told that, especially by someone that never had a cat or a dog in his home and never experienced having any kind of pet. I like normal civilized conversations about anything animal related but I don’t like when someone intentionally comes at me with the intention of trying to lecture me why his dog wil always be better than my cat. I do get defensive at that point. And many people don’t understand that I don’t disagree with any exlusive dog lover.

Dogs are more loyal by nature and heart, they would die for their master, they’re more obedient unlike cats.
Cats ARE loyal to an extent, but a cat never needs you to survive, where as a dog, if attached, would die waiting for his master to give him food. Cats usually get attached to the home, like rats. If you have a nice comfortable home, she’ll be staying. And you can’t train a cat. If you try, it’ll be 1-0 for the cat.

Unless you have a specific breed of cat like a Savannah that is a hybrid. Now this is my dream cat to have. Savannah cats are a hybrid between a serval cat that is 100% a wild cat and a domestic cat and they think like dogs. I think they all have cheetah spots and grow to have really long legs and really big ears and they are overall big cats when they grow up. They can jump up to 5 feet. Most love water, can be trained to poop and pee in the toilet, they can be walked on a leash and they know how to swim. And of course they’re extremely loyal and beautiful.

But honestly, it’s what I love most about cats. It’s exactly because they are the way they are. If you look at it realistically, a cat is a reflection off you. Very rarely do you find an animal so close to human characteristics as a cat is. What I love and respect when it comes to a cat is that they, in most cases, demand for you to earn their respect first, and show them why should they love you. They don’t need you for food per say, they don’t need you to survive, you need to show them you are worthy of their love and attention. To many, this sounds very, selfish I’m guessing? Many don’t feel like an animal so much smaller is worth the time and effort, feeling they’re superior, but someone who thinks like that shouldn’t own a cat. They’re right, they shouldn’t even try.

Many say that once you feed a cat and give it a place to sleep, they’ll mind their own business like you don’t exist, but that person doesn’t know what he or she is talking about. Come to my house once and you’ll see just how gentle and cuddly they can be, especially on a full stomach. With the right amount of time and effort and patience, cats love you more than you know.

I got off track but like the picture says, a cat stays with a genuinely good man. If a cat hisses at you for no apparent reason, you might want to re-think you conscience. 

Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Anything worth having, is definitely worth waiting and fighting for.

And I’m not giving up on what I have fought and waited for such a long time.

The wait is a bitch, the loneliness is palpable, but the prize is unmeasurable. 

I needed the encouragement. Apologies for the absence, but life…

18 Questions Of Your Past Year

I’m not going to lie, this isn’t the original title of the tag. It’s originally called “20 questions for a New Years eve reflection”. But that’s over and I really liked the questions, and I really like answering questions, so I’m just going to wing it.

Basically 20 questions that all have to do with 2014.
This is how I battle my eye infection, It won’t take me down.

What was the single best thing that happened this past year? 
– Hm. Is it bad that I have to think about it? I really didn’t like or enjoy 2014. Well, the absolute best thing that happened is definitely me starting this blog. Or my friend Kevin encouraging me and basically pushing me to start. It ended up being a marvelous decision. Another thing I can’t leave out, he sent me The Fault in Our Stars original book, and English versions of LOTR and The Hobbit! ❤

What was the single most challenging thing that happened? 
– Oh man. Damn, 2014 was a pathetic year. I’m gonna go with, riding on the biggest roller coaster that currently exists here. Now mind you,this is tiny compared to world wide roller coasters and rides in general. But I have that curse of my gizzard swirling around when I move from high points to lower points. Basically all types of slides, elevators, etc. But it was a little less than 10 meters high and that for a slide down is gigantic here.
… I ended up going 6 times in a row. It was still challenging! It was terrifying the first time.

What was an unexpected joy this past year?
– Being able to patch things up again with Michael to some pretty nice grounds. Working on filling up the holes in the cement but pretty soon it’ll be solid. That made me and is still making me marvelously happy.

What was an unexpected obstacle? 
Physics. That’s all I’m saying. Damn you to hell. I almost lost my year because of you.

Pick three words to describe 2014.
– YearOfTheAmazingWinter, Stressful, Educational (not in school ways).

Pick three words your partner/best friend/parent would use to describe your 2014 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your partner/best friend/parent sees you)
– My best friend would say this year for me was stressful, slow and soul-searching. My mom would say

Pick three words your partner/best friend would use to describe their 2014 (again without asking)
– Stressful, slow and anxious. Me and my best friend we’re almost on the same paths.

What were the best books you read this year? 
– Suddenly, the year is passing through my mind. I almost can’t remember anything. But, I’m gonna say Game of Thrones. It is the first year I actually even started getting interested in that show, and I am in love. The book is brilliant and mind you, very difficult. I only read the first book through. The series is still going on and I am taking my time with it. There are 8 books SO FAR.

With whom were your most valuable relationships? 
– The term relationship can mean so many things. If the meaning behind it is romantic relationships, I have been single throughout the entire year. But a valuable relationship in general, definitely my mother, my more recent dear friend Kevin and my dearest friend Michael. I love them all and they have shown me so much in 2014.

What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
– I wanna say I am definitely more calmer and more serious than I was in 2013. I hate blaming things on hormones and those ”teenager excuses”. That irks me. It was a year of self-examination. I mentioned multiple times, it was a year where I grew as a person and definitely learned from my mistakes, that I have made BLOODY A LOT in 2013. (I’m sorry Michael). Passed those lessons into action and I’m still working on it. I’m definitely more wiser and calmer.

In what way(s) did you grow emotionally? 
– Oh boy. I wouldn’t say I grew, honestly. I would say I decreased in a few aspects. 2014, as mentioned above was a year of growth for me as a person, but I also took the time to realize what I want to keep as part of me, part of my personality and what not.
I don’t know if that makes sense. I did work on improving myself, but in my attempts, people took that as a weakness of mine and grabbed the chance to stomp on me and clean their muddy boots off me.
Certain people. Which caused one big heart break all together, a massive disappointment and made me incredibly bitter and quick to cut-throat someone out of my life if I just don’t want to put my effort in. If I don’t feel they deserve it, and my deal breakers are high up there. If you crossed it, it means you crossed it. It made me, how do you say it – harsh. The softest way I can put it.
I grew more caring and cautious of people’s feelings for the one’s I thought deserved it of course.

In what way(s) did you grow spiritually? 
– I don’t do that. I think. I may have messed up on the meaning.

In what way(s) did you grow physically? 
– Well I do eat a lot..

In what way(s) did you grow in your relationship with others? 
I feel like I’m going to repeat myself over and over. 
I definitely became more distrusting. I guess you could call me pretty naive, but the more time flies, I think I know the signs.

What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year? 
– My Physics exams. They should have never happened, they didn’t need too. I wasted a perfectly good summer and replaced it with stress and worry, on top of other things. And I wasted a potential holiday in Greece.

What was the best way you used your time this past year?
– Well I worked very hard and it paid off. I completed many goals concerning my school work and grades, my personal relations with my friends. All of that took time and a lot of energy since I am not a natural born optimist.

What was the biggest thing you learned this past year? 
– Don’t take people for granted and don’t let your ego get the best of you. Put your pride aside and be fair.

Create a phrase or statement that describes 2014 for you.

 Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself. 

I guess yeah.

Okay, this blogpost turned out to be way more serious than I thought it was going to be. I was so prepared for a fun, quick tag where I’d show off my witty and humorous jokes, but nope. I had to think long and hard before I wrote and it didn’t even turn out that good. Damn it.

But, I tag Finicky Cynic, Professor VJ Duke,  Fatina96, Human Interest, deepbluesandseafoamgreens & Feminine and Feline to do this tag, whenever they wish! That’s everyone I can think off the top of my head.

Have a good one!