We are lionhearts

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Having the childhood I have had and having dealt with all the things I have ever since I was 5 years old, there’s a few people in my life that are irreplaceable for the spots in my heart as someone who’s stood by me even when I thought of giving up on myself.

My mother and my very best friend Kristina. They both mean the absolute world to me and I don’t say that just because my mom is my mom and I’m ”supposed” to love her and know she is always beside me. Nothing is guaranteed and her support shouldn’t be taken for granted. As something that’s obviously supposed to be there. She didn’t have to be the mother and best friend she is today. She didn’t have to go into such depths with me, to understand me completely and truly see the world from my point of view just so she can give me one advice. She didn’t have to do anything, she did all of it because yeah she loved me, on that front a  mother has no choice, but a mother who is your biggest support and best friend and safest mirror is a gift everyone lucky enough to have should cherish.

My best friend suffered through a lot with me. I don’t mean emotionally, at least I hope she didn’t. I hope I never hurt her enough to make her suffer for anything. I mean she did a lot of things for me no other friend would. She listened to me for hours and hours and hours on end just so I get all of the puzzles from my head and try to sort them out, many times over the same time like no other friend would. She has always had something to say, always been careful with what she says to me to not accidentally hurt me or offend me or make me feel unwanted or abandoned. She always had an answer. I am 100% aware that there must’ve been times when she was desperate and didn’t know what else to say to me because I had drained all of the words out of her and brainwashed her thoughts, but she always kept going.
And so did my mom.

Their approval, opinion and advice means everything to me. I feel weird doing something my best friend or mom don’t approve off. But even then, they’re still so wonderful to tell me that I shouldn’t worry, because even if I am making the wrong choice they’ll stand by me through it and support me when it fails if it does. That gives me strength and confidence.

Many times I often just tell them what I will do or am planning to do, but in any case they stand by me. I always know their opinion, good or bad, especially my mom’s, but sometimes it stirs me the right way, and I am thankful each time.

Many don’t have a shoulder or ear to turn too and maybe receive help when they’re unsure if they’re doing the right thing or not. I am mature enough to realize how happy I actually am, because of them.

I have not been the best daughter, or the best friend I wish I could’ve been to Kristina, but she’s still mine. Funny how love works isn’t it?

At the same time they are my strength, my shield, my armor, my handkerchiefs, my insides, I am theirs as well.
Through every storm, who’s ever it is, we are lion hearts and we walk together through the storm, and I think my mom and Kristina are the only two hands I feel safe holding. I like to believe I am theirs as well.
My mom has told me more than once that sometimes I am the only one she can turn too, as well as my best friend, and I value that. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that someone feels the same way about me as I do for them, because I know just how much I love them both.

If they tell me it’s okay, if they tell me I’m doing the right thing, I have peace and serenity in my heart, because I know that even if we are all wrong and it’s not the right choice, nothing changes.

I wish this upon every single one of you. I hope you all have that special someone in your life who’s always been there for you.

But not just that. Not just someone who’s always been there for you, I wish you all have that person who you love so much and who you know will always love you, and who will always BE there for you. To be confident that you’re not losing this person anytime soon.

What inspired this post is this particular song:
Lionhearts by Demi Lovato

I listen to this song and imagine a rough and stormy road in front of me and me facing my troubles that come along the way, and the only two people I see walking with me or supporting me from the side is them two.
And as long as I know they’re behind me, I’m marching to the beat of the storm and we walk together into the light.

I try to tell my mom and Kristina as much as I can how much I would be completely lost without them, but I think deep down in their hearts they know. But they deserve to hear it.

If you have anyone in your life you value or love, show them love and never take them for granted. Realize what you have and learn to value whatever good or positive they bring into your life. Every little thing counts and every little thing matters.

If someone’s not there for you for the silliest and littlest things, bet your dollar they won’t show up for the big hardships.

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Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Anything worth having, is definitely worth waiting and fighting for.

And I’m not giving up on what I have fought and waited for such a long time.

The wait is a bitch, the loneliness is palpable, but the prize is unmeasurable. 

I needed the encouragement. Apologies for the absence, but life…