We are lionhearts

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Having the childhood I have had and having dealt with all the things I have ever since I was 5 years old, there’s a few people in my life that are irreplaceable for the spots in my heart as someone who’s stood by me even when I thought of giving up on myself.

My mother and my very best friend Kristina. They both mean the absolute world to me and I don’t say that just because my mom is my mom and I’m ”supposed” to love her and know she is always beside me. Nothing is guaranteed and her support shouldn’t be taken for granted. As something that’s obviously supposed to be there. She didn’t have to be the mother and best friend she is today. She didn’t have to go into such depths with me, to understand me completely and truly see the world from my point of view just so she can give me one advice. She didn’t have to do anything, she did all of it because yeah she loved me, on that front a  mother has no choice, but a mother who is your biggest support and best friend and safest mirror is a gift everyone lucky enough to have should cherish.

My best friend suffered through a lot with me. I don’t mean emotionally, at least I hope she didn’t. I hope I never hurt her enough to make her suffer for anything. I mean she did a lot of things for me no other friend would. She listened to me for hours and hours and hours on end just so I get all of the puzzles from my head and try to sort them out, many times over the same time like no other friend would. She has always had something to say, always been careful with what she says to me to not accidentally hurt me or offend me or make me feel unwanted or abandoned. She always had an answer. I am 100% aware that there must’ve been times when she was desperate and didn’t know what else to say to me because I had drained all of the words out of her and brainwashed her thoughts, but she always kept going.
And so did my mom.

Their approval, opinion and advice means everything to me. I feel weird doing something my best friend or mom don’t approve off. But even then, they’re still so wonderful to tell me that I shouldn’t worry, because even if I am making the wrong choice they’ll stand by me through it and support me when it fails if it does. That gives me strength and confidence.

Many times I often just tell them what I will do or am planning to do, but in any case they stand by me. I always know their opinion, good or bad, especially my mom’s, but sometimes it stirs me the right way, and I am thankful each time.

Many don’t have a shoulder or ear to turn too and maybe receive help when they’re unsure if they’re doing the right thing or not. I am mature enough to realize how happy I actually am, because of them.

I have not been the best daughter, or the best friend I wish I could’ve been to Kristina, but she’s still mine. Funny how love works isn’t it?

At the same time they are my strength, my shield, my armor, my handkerchiefs, my insides, I am theirs as well.
Through every storm, who’s ever it is, we are lion hearts and we walk together through the storm, and I think my mom and Kristina are the only two hands I feel safe holding. I like to believe I am theirs as well.
My mom has told me more than once that sometimes I am the only one she can turn too, as well as my best friend, and I value that. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that someone feels the same way about me as I do for them, because I know just how much I love them both.

If they tell me it’s okay, if they tell me I’m doing the right thing, I have peace and serenity in my heart, because I know that even if we are all wrong and it’s not the right choice, nothing changes.

I wish this upon every single one of you. I hope you all have that special someone in your life who’s always been there for you.

But not just that. Not just someone who’s always been there for you, I wish you all have that person who you love so much and who you know will always love you, and who will always BE there for you. To be confident that you’re not losing this person anytime soon.

What inspired this post is this particular song:
Lionhearts by Demi Lovato

I listen to this song and imagine a rough and stormy road in front of me and me facing my troubles that come along the way, and the only two people I see walking with me or supporting me from the side is them two.
And as long as I know they’re behind me, I’m marching to the beat of the storm and we walk together into the light.

I try to tell my mom and Kristina as much as I can how much I would be completely lost without them, but I think deep down in their hearts they know. But they deserve to hear it.

If you have anyone in your life you value or love, show them love and never take them for granted. Realize what you have and learn to value whatever good or positive they bring into your life. Every little thing counts and every little thing matters.

If someone’s not there for you for the silliest and littlest things, bet your dollar they won’t show up for the big hardships.

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A “Few” Things That Annoy Me

I don’t think I’ve ever done a post like this, or even similar to this. Maybe in forms of a specific situation that hurt me or annoyed me at the time, but never a list of a “few” specific details about everyday life or in general, what annoys me. I may split this into a few posts and long ones I might add.
I may add that I might swear a time or two in this post, because it’s sometimes the best way to get your point across. If you don’t mind that, let’s start;

❄ When people treat their pets badly in front of me. That sets my heart on fire and I want to bash their face in, you do not deserve that wonderful animal.

❄ When I buy snacks or candy for myself and bring it home, and for instance someone’s at home, we have a guest or my little sister who’s 5, asks me if I’ll eat it right now and I reply No, I’ll save it for later, don’t open it now, and I leave the house for even an hour and I come back to an empty bag of crisps. I said I’ll eat it later, I don’t mind sharing a little bit, but no one told you to eat my snacks while I was away.

 

❄ Smokers who decide they want to light up a cigarette in the middle of strolling down the street. If I am obliged to walk past you, with you or even behind you, I don’t want to be obliged to have your smoke in my face from every angle I walk by, because it goes right, left, straight and backwards. Have some decency.

❄ When people think they know everything but know very very little, or nothing at all. And they’re so sure of themselves when they talk about whatever it is, they get fired up and almost angry at you, but you fucking know they don’t know what they’re talking about, especially if you know the truth. What the fuck are you doing? Who are you showing off for?

When good friends keep things from me. This might be a little personal irritation button, but I don’t like when I know that someone finds me a good, close friend who they have trust in, or even worse my best friend, and they hide things from me in front of me.
Be it a text from your boyfriend, another friend, your mother messaged you, a picture with your boyfriend on your phone, your fucking phone password or pin, and they’re like “Nope” and irritatingly smile like it’s supposed to be amusing?

I understand that everyone is different and many couples have their own sets of privacy, but I just don’t understand the literal hiding. I come and sit next to you and you turn sideways so I don’t see who you’re texting?
Remind me to never be intentionally interested again, in anything you do.

❄ In public transport and outside it, when people don’t have the courtesy to apologize for pushing you, bumping into you or stepping onto the back of your foot while they were walking. What is that? For me, it’s a momental reaction be say So sorry, Sorry mam, Sorry sir. Rude.

❄ When people generalize things. All vegans, all vegetarians, all males, all females, all Christians, all atheists, all ex’s, all boyfriends. No.
Not all men are the same in relationships, you keep picking the same type of guy over and over. Something new? He’s a faggot, too poor, too neat, too stylish, gay, too goth, too sensitive, too this, too that. Shut the fuck up.

❄ People who constantly post facebook statuses like: “Feeling depressed”, I’m so upset, This has been the worst day of my life, and a bunch of sad emoji’s and someone else comments, What’s up, what happened, tell me all about it. And the replies are “I’ll inbox you”, or “I don’t want to talk about it” or “I don’t want to bother anyone with my problems”.
Not that I truly cared what you’re upset about,but now that you have gone out of your way to purposely make it so that no one knows publicly, now I either want to know because now it’s a mystery, or it annoys me ’cause you’re craving attention, which is probably the case.

❄ When people aren’t paying attention at all to what I am saying and I am having a conversation with them. They look through me or they look the other way and give out sighs or “Mhm”, “Yeah yeah”, or just nod their head. Excuse me, but I am talking. Tell me if you want me to stop.

❄ When people pretend to be interested in your life and why you are upset or down and ask of you to share it with them, and you do, thinking you’ll talk about it and someone replies with “Oh, that’s too bad”, “Oh, I feel sorry for you”, “Oh, well it’ll get better, I’m off now!” or any irrelevant comment like they just read about you on the news and scrolled down.
Are you fucking kidding me? Why did you ask me, to fill in the five minutes you had nothing to do before you went to do it?
I didn’t even expect you’d care when we started talking, now when you’ve asked me you gave me false hope you actually did care and wanted to listen. You just made me feel worse.

❄ On that note, It extremely extremely annoys me when you share your pain or problem with a person, the first response is anything similar too:
Oh, I know that feeling, I’ve been through worse, let me tell you what I’ve been through. And the conversation suddenly becomes about them.
OR, if they’re REALLY an asshole, they say anything similar too: Don’t dramatize, you need to chill, I’ve been through worse, and I got out of it, that’s nothing, how can you care about that, my problem was a lot worse and I didn’t react like that?

No? How VERY fortunate for you.
Because you went through worse, it means that my problem and the pain it caused me is any less painful than your problem? Fucking no. Get out of here.

Wow, that’s about the length I thought it would be. Cheers if you made it thus far! That was quite refreshing to share, I’m sure lot’s of you went through or go through the same things and I’m not even done. Is anyone ever really?

The Upcoming End of Two And A Half Men. (Rant Alert)

Can you even formulate it like that? Upcoming end? I think you can, sounds almost right. Sigh. I am a little nervous at the moment. Actually I’m very nervous. One thought is consuming my mind for days now, over and over.

I am not, and I have never been a crazed fan for anything. I don’t do those typical things that fans do in order to show love and support.
If it’s a signer involved, I do not make T-shirts with their name on them and put #1 fan. I won’t sleep the night before a concert outside of the arena. I won’t tweet them over a thousand times or even comment on their photos. Even though, I can promise I adore this person, they’re such an inspiration to me and I may even cry- I may even cry for them or for something they’ve said or something that happened but you know, I was never crazy in said senses.
To not go on and on for every profession, I just don’t do certain things.

My love for shows, singers, actors and whatever it may be is very silent and almost unnoticeable. It’s just there and it exists and it just floats in the air in massive amounts. I have a very obsessive personality over things I like and exclusively over things that I like.

Sigh. I am so bummed. Two and a half men is, it, to me. I love the show so passionately, so genuinely and loyally. I was incredibly late to the party. The girl already jumped out of the cake and everyone’s had a piece. Two and a half men, or any show for that matter wasn’t a part of my childhood. Like so many have those significant shows that mark a time of their childhood. Memories of watching that specific show as a little kid, with their family. So many include Friends and other family shows. Not one show marks my childhood. Cartoon Network which is/was a channel on TV marked mine and by the way, drove my mother mad. It’s pretty hilarious. She was absolutely sick of it, it was non stop.

But none the less, it was instant love when I did come across Two and a half men. I am so scared you guys. At the very end of season 11, the last episode basically Alan (Jon Cryer) being dumped and left on his wedding with Gretchen for her ex, leaving him heart broken and confused. At the very end of the episode, Alan and Walden sit down on the couch, along with Walden’s freshly made robot, and they make plans of making a guy’s night every Thursday where they just sit around, chill and talk. And Walden refers to it as Two and a half men’s night. (the half being the robot) I thought that was the end.

Strangely enough, I thought that was the way they wanted to end it, not knowing they were cooking season 12. At that moment, it didn’t strike me hard. I loved that episode and in the moment, I was just happy and positive. It was a great run, I’m glad I got to experience it. And of course, when I heard that season 12 was already aired mind you, and when I opened the first episode up, I was screaming the entire time. I was incredibly happy.

As far as I’m concerned, the show can last forever. There is no way to end a billionaire’s and a mooch’s life story together, until one of them dies. Most likely, it would be Walden. But now I know it’s the end. Now I am aware it’s the final season and that scares me.

I don’t want it to end. I am so in love with this show. I have fallen in love with all of the characters, in the story, even though it had a big big transition after season eight. I feel like it’s a part of my teenage years. It’s not my childhood but to me, it’s just as meaningful. I can’t explain it. I want to meaningfully rant on my love for it and why it is what it is, but I don’t have the words. How do you explain such love for fictional characters and a story that’ll most likely never happen in real life.

The last episode was shot on Friday, and now fans are just awaiting. Man, it would’ve been a dream come true to once experience sitting in the live studio audience and seeing them on set, making mistakes and make the show to what’s it’s become.
It honestly annoys me so bad when people call it just a stupid, meaningless, bachelor show that exploits women and sex. Two and a half men isn’t and never was known for treating things tastefully to an extent, why is it so awful. Fans like me who fall in love and really dig deep into the story and plot, there’s so much more, so many signs and looks that really say a lot without saying a word.

Season 12 is up to it’s 13th episode, which was awesome of course, and the last 3 remain.  I feel like so many people would describe their ending of Friends. Friends was a show that was aired before I was born and ended when I was 6. People born in the mid 90′ probably felt like a big ongoing part of their childhood is ending, and I feel like, something wonderful I love that always made me happy is going to end.

It sounds so dramatic, I know it’s a show but I’m sad alright? I think it’s not that weird. People cry over their singing idol’s new haircut. I’m sad over something that makes me genuinely happy is ending. I already have all 12 seasons I think on every single device I have in my house. I can always come back and I do. I play Two and a half men and do my thing and enjoy their voices in the background. But I know that pretty soon I won’t be able to stock up on more and more of that joy. Pretty soon it’ll stop and I’ll have 12 seasons and 262 episodes to look back too-which is marvelous, but why not 462?

Yeah I know. It would bore many people. Everyone has to have an ending. If Harry Potter went on forever, people would lose interest. But it’s my show. It wouldn’t bore me. Don’t I count for something? No? Okay…

You’ve Gotta Be Kitten Me

Take a deep breath Mar Mar. You have no idea what’s going on inside your head, but you’re gonna be fine. You’ll be fine. Everything’s going to be alright. Tomorrow is a new day and you have all the time in the world to re-live this hell all over again. W/o!

I’m having one of those regretful bad days. Those days where you lose half your day doing nothing and the rest of is in bitterness. Then the night comes when you should fall asleep and you ask yourself where the hell did your day go. Why did I waste this day? This day wasn’t meant to be wasted. All I can really do is sleep and wait for tomorrow. I’m still feeling gloomy and doleful. A little blue. I need someone to feel red, so we can make purple.

Why am I like this. Why am I one of those people who, when I do have a semi-reason to feel bad, if it get’s to me, there is absolutely no way anyone can cheer me up unless I make the effort myself which is a pain in the reer. In the moment of feeling angry and bitter, no one thinks about feeling better. You just think about how you’d like to smash something or dig deeper into those thoughts. I can’t focus on other things.
Like okay, I’m angry about this but there’s another side to the story. I should be happy about that and concentrate on that and forget what I was mad about in the first place. I can’t do that. It takes such a long time for me. Even if I am fine by default, I can’t just LET IT GO and move on.
It’s a flaw and it makes things so difficult for the people around me. It’s not at all easy to handle me sometimes.

Right now, my stomach is still flipping turning even though I realize I am being unfair to Michael. But It’s just me, I’m like that. And trying to force me to feel better, just moving on with the subject? Oh hell no. Then it’s full two days, at least.

IT’S BAD, i know It’s bad but it takes way too much effort to change it. I get frustrated and eventually start to cry because my mind is very much aware, but my heart says no, I’m not folding. Even now, I’m getting frustrated with myself cause I don’t want to be like this. I want to feel relaxed and talk to Michael nicely if we even get to talking tonight. I want to be able to lovingly thank him for being so understanding and patient with me, without the twirls in my stomach from it being quite insincere at that exact moment.

I guess what you’re supposed to do is get a notebook and write down all the positive things you can think off that happened throughout your day, even though it seems like a bad one to you when you sum it up. I don’t like these mind tests at all, but if I were to do this it would be my cat.
It’s amazing how she feels when I’m upset and knows exactly when to come to snuggle and does it perfectly.

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She hugged me, literally hugged me. If it were a video, you’d see her pawing her hand further to grab more of me.
It’s like hugging another human. Only one that’s a lot smaller. And harrier.

But even still. To me, this was just a crap day and I feel like I’m going to mess it up even more very soon, if possible. Or I’m just gonna go to bed and wait for someone to make me laugh at school tomorrow. It’s just, It’s such a waste you know? Either way, I hope you guys had a good day.
Toddles.

Two And A Half Men – Final Season

Damn it!!! I should’ve written this post yesterday evening when I was completely in the zone about this. When I was freaking out and was so excited. But! Never the less, I am still excited and I want to talk to you guys about this, masterpiece we all call a show.

I’m sure we all know the basic plot of the show. Alan, Jake, (Charlie, Rose), Walden, Berta, Jenny. Yeah’ All familiar? Great! I was SO late on this show, as I was for any I am now loving to an extend where I would fall down on my knees to watch an episode I haven’t already and bleed. I started watching Two and a half men by complete accident and thanks to my father. It was a complete accident, stumbling upon him watching it and me growing to love it episode by episode. Needless to say, I watched the entire 11 seasons in less than a week. I was on Spring break and I nailed it.

I love this show so much you guys. I love the story, I love the plot, I love the actors, I love the humour, I love the sarcasm. I loved everything about it from episode one.

Judging from the very first season to the ninth, I have to say I was shocked when I saw that Charlie Sheen was no longer part of the show.
First of all, I had no idea that he was fired from the show at the time. I learned that a few months afterwards, by accident. I thought the actual plot of the show was that Charlie Harper dies and I honestly thought that’s where the show will end. I was not happy by this, one bit.
And I mean the scene of Charlie’s coffin surrounded by flowers, easing towards Alan, me absolutely screaming and freaking out and eventually starting to cry. TO CRY.

I felt like there was no show without Charlie Sheen because he was IT. He was the show to me, he’s what kept things going. It didn’t help my thought that that’s where the show will end. My favorite character finally dying out of liver damage or heart attack and that’s all folks!

When I saw that Ashton Kutcher was basically taking his place as Walden, only as much richer and more hansome I might add, I was literally angry. I was furious and I refused to continue watching the show. Since I didn’t know that Charlie was fired, I thought that was their plan. Take Charlie out and mix it up a little. I labeled it as piece of rubbish without giving it a chance.

Needless to say, I got over this. I just needed to share with you guys how much I got caught up in this show. Throughout the seasons, not only was it funny to me, I shared laughs, smiles, tears, even chest pains with the actors. This is the one show I am truly passionate about. Where I truly felt like I interracted with some of the plot and cheered and loathed. I hope anyone else here has a crazy obsession like this.

I admit, It still wasn’t the same after Charlie Sheen left. I also felt a little stale stage with the action and comedy and the jokes. They were kind off trying too hard ’cause we were all just so used to Charlie. I’m sure you see that in many reviews, public or private from your friends. I felt it, but to me it was still fantastic. Like I said, I truly genuinely love it and It’s like I am a part of the story. It’s just Two and a half men too me, you know? That’s them and that’s fabulous! I never got this type of reaction for any show.
Most people have it for Friends, but see, I see Friends as a very hard show to watch. A very stale, lenghthy show that to me, has the most exciting parts when it comes to Ross&Rachel and that’s basically it. I don’t see the strive in that show, to keep you wondering what’s going to happen next. Two and a half men is longer by now TWO seasons, but I feel like it has quadruple more action.

Anyway, I wanted to drop my heart last night when I finally realized season 12 was aired!!!!!!!!

I felt like a fallen fan you guys. It was aired at the end of October, now it’s almost the end of November!!! I wasn’t keeping track. I had no idea there would even BE a twelfth season and to my delight and joy, there is! It will be the final season to the show and I can poop my pants from excitement of wanting to know how will they brilliantly end it.

How is it I manage to write an entire text worthy of a complete blogpost but I’m just half way through of what I actually wanted to say? Damn, I talk a lot.

To me, it was such a fun and awesome way to start off a season. I don’t want to give out too many spoilers, but I don’t think they could’ve started it better. And personally, only four episodes are aired so far, but you can really see the show coming to an end in the best way. You can really see everyone accepting each other, finally, and acting like, Yeah this is it. This is us. We were here for so long, it’s time for things to come to an end in the best possible way.

I know that some people will be really against homosexuality factors being brought in, in more obvious and observable matters but if you put that aside for just a second, you’ll really see something great happening. I think the reason behind the marriage is absolutely beautiful, no matter how unusual. You can really see Alan growing and finally becoming a true friend. Not thinking only of himself or even of any selfish benefits he might get. I’m sure I’m not the only one who was incredibly pissed off at Alan 80% of the time while he was living with Charlie because you could really see the sleeze bag, butt-sucking leach in him. A gold digger most of the time but you can really see the true friend side of him in this season. I believe it’s going to go on till the end, I feel it. And I think that’s the best in all of this. They are all starting to realize they’ve been there for each other for years now, it’s time to pile it all up together and make something beautiful out of it. Even Berta.
They’re all just there and accepting that Alan is never leaving Walden, married or not, till death do them part, all together, everyone make a big family.
He’s truly there for Walden this time. He always has been, but there was always a selfish corner in his mind that thought only of his benefits coming out of every situation. It’s only been four episodes but I am truly genuinely excited. I feel like I am not wrong about this. To me, it was a terrific funny start, terrific twist with meaning, even though it had to have an unusual part but for a good reason. A baby no less. It’s still very entertaning, very funny and there’s more to come!
I cannot wait!

The Liebster Award

  • W/o! I am behind on a few other awards like the One Lovely Blog Award and I intend to write them all, but the facts…I don’t like coming up with facts!! First of all, I’d like to thank Being me. for nominating me. I was not expecting it at all. Thank you very much!The basics… The rules of every award.
    Rule #1: Post the award logo on your blog.
    Rule #2: Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their blog.
    Rule #3: Write 11 random facts about yourself. Ugh. 
    Rule #4: Nominate 11 fellow bloggers with less than 200 followers who you think deserve this award. Not going to be 11 for sure.
    Rule #5: Answer 11 questions the one who nominated you left you and ask your nominees 11 questions.

    11 random facts about myself:

  • I love to watch 24 Kitchen on TV. Even though it makes me hungry.
  • I don’t like sweets and sugary things all that much.
  • I am terrified of heights.
  • My favorite color is dark grey and dark neon blue.
  • I absolutely love cardigans. LOVE.
  • When I’m sad, it’s terribly difficult to get me to feel better unless I do it myself. So peopl shouldn’ttry too hard, just be there for me. Or make me laugh.
  • I adore mushrooms. I eat them every other day almost.
  • Felix’s and Joey Graceffa’s laugh are incredibly contagious for me.
  • I don’t like reptiles.
  • I get bored surprisingly easy.
  • I used to collest all types of seashells.

That didn’t go as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Okay, there is no way I can nominate 11 people, plus watch out if they have under 200 followers, which doesn’t even matter gurl. So, I basically nominate everyone that wants to do this and that loves coming up with facts about themselves. Go for it, no matter the count!

Now the answers:

Why do you blog? 
– I love it, I love writing. It gives me a chance to share something that’s a part of me or a part of my life with someone outside my friend circle. It’s lovely.
If you could, would you keep a lion for a pet, or a tiger? 
– Tough one. They’re both from the cat family… I love them both. I think a tiger. Lionness’s maybe, but a full on lion, eh. Snow tigers, how ’bout that?
What in people do you hate the most? 
– Probably selfishness. Taking people and things for granted. As soon as someone feels better no one else matters anymore. We don’t learn or appreciate at all.
Your favorite super hero?
– I don’t keep track of these… Who is a super hero anyway? Except like, Superman. lol
Your favorite celebration in your country?
– My country’s a boring one, so I’m gonna go with Christmas. We don’t have any seperate cool holidays. We don’t even celebrate Halloween. -.-
Your goals in life? 
– Move, get a nice job, support myself. Get a job that has to do with languages and writing or teaching. Marry Mike, adopt and save as many kitties and animals I can and be happy.
Do you smile your way out of troubles or cry?
– First cry, then smile.
Who do you go to when life’s angry with you? 
– Most of the time no one. I keep things to myself. If it get’s too much or if it’s not too bad, I go to Mike. Otherwise, I keep shut.
Do you like my blog? And why? 
– Yes I do! I think you deserve more recognition than you’re getting. It’s honest.
What is an ideal personality in your view?
– That’s a good question but not one you should answer. I can’t come up with an answer.
What inspires you the most? 
– Surroundings.

Dang it, now for the hard part. My questions to all of you!

  1. Do you have a happy place and what is it?
  2. What is your favorite meal to eat, of all time?
  3. What do you think is more important. To love or to be loved?
  4. Are you interested in fashion at all?
  5. Your biggest pet peeve about your best friend?
  6. What would you say is your biggest flaw?
  7. Cats or dogs?
  8. If you had one ultimate wish, what would you wish for?
  9. What do you like wearing the most, heels, flats, sneakers, flip-flops?
  10. Who’s your favorite YouTuber?
  11. Do you know who is Pewdiepie? Are you a bro? ❤

w/e! Thanks to Fatima one more time!

People Change

I am sitting here deciphering what I should do with the rest of my day. School finished very early, like two hours ago but I was a twit and wasted my time away on, I don’t even know what. I looked at the stars, in the middle of the day.
I am thinking, should I call one of my my best friends, M, and tell her that I finally have free time, a free weekend and meet up with her, or go to her place. I know that would be one of her suggestions. I know a normal person with a simple brain wouldn’t think twice about it and go for it, it’s always fun to hang out with friends. But naturally, my mind drifted further from that.

Why is it that most of the time, Middle school and Junior High friends don’t count? I mean not that they don’t count, but why does every grown up I meet tell me that High School friends are the friends that may stay as you get older, even after it’s finished. Why? Why do we drift apart?
Why. Because people find new people, new envirement, new priorities, just over all change.

I understand that people just grow apart, I understand that concept. Nothing special has to happen or drastic between two people for them to just not glue together anymore. But why do people have to change themselves when a change of envirement occurs? I don’t change. At least I think I don’t. I feel like I didn’t. Have I changed? Now there’s food for thought. I’m gonna ask my K and M for their opinions.
Maybe in the slightest shades but I didn’t change who I am, how I dress, how I talk, how I think, most importantly.

I think it all comes from training your brain. Honestly. We are taught by our parents the most important basic things. How to act in public, to say good day, good evening, to be polite in someone else’s house, not to talk while your mouth is full, especially in company. Manners. But throughout Middle school and after you are also taught, some by words, some by experience and some by the two combined, that you should not be easily influenced. I hate that concept. Influence, in ways I think are negative. We all go through various friendship phases and at least 20 BFF’s are changed throughout school until you find your match.
And each phase is maybe a lesson, what to do, what not to do. We also make our own mistakes.

One of those things has to be, you should not be influenced by other people to do things you are not comfortable doing just because they are new, popular, trendy and most importantly, because everyone does it. **(I think I may have ranted on a little bit in the blog post. I just want to add that this is the main point of the blog post. I am not talking about pure change as it is, change is actually healthy. There is no way you can stay the same forever. And yes, I know confidence follows up with this. Some people are just too insecure about not fitting in and that’s fine as well. Make a mistkake, once or twice, we all do and we all learn. But if you do learn, you’ll see there is abslutely no one better than you yourself. 
Don’t compare yourself with other’s and make the change according to them. That’s what I am saying)***
For sure. Every class has a popular train and someone in the class secretly wishes they were on it.

I don’t see the point in those types of changes. It might be ignorant of me to state that. I do understand change, but not because someone told you your way of doing something isn’t right because it’s not very common. Let’s add- among teenagers.
I may be a bit different on that part though. I have experienced some things in my ”younger youth” that not everyone has and I started growing up in my mind a bit faster. It worked a little faster than other’s.

If you managed to form an opinion about something, if you found your character by the slightest, you should not break it. In my opinion. I don’t change the way I talk, even though everyone around me talks differently. I don’t pick up the ‘slang’. Or walk differently, or state things I don’t believe in just to communicate better in a group of people talking around me. I refuse too. I at least can control it. If I see someone doing it, I don’t feel the need to do it myself. I talk and dress the way I talk and dress.
I know many people say that High School is the time of a teenager’s life where they just start growing and finding out who they really are and how they want to act. But I don’t think that’s true in some ways.

Most people start smoking for instance in high school. That’s not a part of you as a person. You either do it because you want to, but why would you actually want to unless it’s because of mental influence by friends. You know, you look at everyone doing it and you feel left out or something. Or you are actually influenced by words that you should do it and that you’re un cool for refusing to smoke. I don’t believe that people start smoking because they want to relieve stress. That’s just stupid. If anything, it enhances the stress after awhile.

I’m not aiming so much that my best friends made these kind of changes, I’m aiming that they have changed. M more, in some ways I have mentioned. Which is okay, but it is a change due to her invirement and people around her. She doesn’t mind it yet, nor do I but you can see how it escalated to this post.

Even if you want to change, it should be in your own time, your own pace, spontaneous.
You wake up and you decide to have a tattoo, that’s absolutely okay. That’s a personal choice. But you should never think less of yourself because you don’t do things everyone else does.
If you feel strongly about something that you do, or something that you don’t do, you have your reason for doing or not doing it. Stand by it.
If you learned something new and  compromised, that’s amazing.

But don’t let other’s change your mind for you. High school or a certain age do not guarantee anything. :/