The Upcoming End of Two And A Half Men. (Rant Alert)

Can you even formulate it like that? Upcoming end? I think you can, sounds almost right. Sigh. I am a little nervous at the moment. Actually I’m very nervous. One thought is consuming my mind for days now, over and over.

I am not, and I have never been a crazed fan for anything. I don’t do those typical things that fans do in order to show love and support.
If it’s a signer involved, I do not make T-shirts with their name on them and put #1 fan. I won’t sleep the night before a concert outside of the arena. I won’t tweet them over a thousand times or even comment on their photos. Even though, I can promise I adore this person, they’re such an inspiration to me and I may even cry- I may even cry for them or for something they’ve said or something that happened but you know, I was never crazy in said senses.
To not go on and on for every profession, I just don’t do certain things.

My love for shows, singers, actors and whatever it may be is very silent and almost unnoticeable. It’s just there and it exists and it just floats in the air in massive amounts. I have a very obsessive personality over things I like and exclusively over things that I like.

Sigh. I am so bummed. Two and a half men is, it, to me. I love the show so passionately, so genuinely and loyally. I was incredibly late to the party. The girl already jumped out of the cake and everyone’s had a piece. Two and a half men, or any show for that matter wasn’t a part of my childhood. Like so many have those significant shows that mark a time of their childhood. Memories of watching that specific show as a little kid, with their family. So many include Friends and other family shows. Not one show marks my childhood. Cartoon Network which is/was a channel on TV marked mine and by the way, drove my mother mad. It’s pretty hilarious. She was absolutely sick of it, it was non stop.

But none the less, it was instant love when I did come across Two and a half men. I am so scared you guys. At the very end of season 11, the last episode basically Alan (Jon Cryer) being dumped and left on his wedding with Gretchen for her ex, leaving him heart broken and confused. At the very end of the episode, Alan and Walden sit down on the couch, along with Walden’s freshly made robot, and they make plans of making a guy’s night every Thursday where they just sit around, chill and talk. And Walden refers to it as Two and a half men’s night. (the half being the robot) I thought that was the end.

Strangely enough, I thought that was the way they wanted to end it, not knowing they were cooking season 12. At that moment, it didn’t strike me hard. I loved that episode and in the moment, I was just happy and positive. It was a great run, I’m glad I got to experience it. And of course, when I heard that season 12 was already aired mind you, and when I opened the first episode up, I was screaming the entire time. I was incredibly happy.

As far as I’m concerned, the show can last forever. There is no way to end a billionaire’s and a mooch’s life story together, until one of them dies. Most likely, it would be Walden. But now I know it’s the end. Now I am aware it’s the final season and that scares me.

I don’t want it to end. I am so in love with this show. I have fallen in love with all of the characters, in the story, even though it had a big big transition after season eight. I feel like it’s a part of my teenage years. It’s not my childhood but to me, it’s just as meaningful. I can’t explain it. I want to meaningfully rant on my love for it and why it is what it is, but I don’t have the words. How do you explain such love for fictional characters and a story that’ll most likely never happen in real life.

The last episode was shot on Friday, and now fans are just awaiting. Man, it would’ve been a dream come true to once experience sitting in the live studio audience and seeing them on set, making mistakes and make the show to what’s it’s become.
It honestly annoys me so bad when people call it just a stupid, meaningless, bachelor show that exploits women and sex. Two and a half men isn’t and never was known for treating things tastefully to an extent, why is it so awful. Fans like me who fall in love and really dig deep into the story and plot, there’s so much more, so many signs and looks that really say a lot without saying a word.

Season 12 is up to it’s 13th episode, which was awesome of course, and the last 3 remain.  I feel like so many people would describe their ending of Friends. Friends was a show that was aired before I was born and ended when I was 6. People born in the mid 90′ probably felt like a big ongoing part of their childhood is ending, and I feel like, something wonderful I love that always made me happy is going to end.

It sounds so dramatic, I know it’s a show but I’m sad alright? I think it’s not that weird. People cry over their singing idol’s new haircut. I’m sad over something that makes me genuinely happy is ending. I already have all 12 seasons I think on every single device I have in my house. I can always come back and I do. I play Two and a half men and do my thing and enjoy their voices in the background. But I know that pretty soon I won’t be able to stock up on more and more of that joy. Pretty soon it’ll stop and I’ll have 12 seasons and 262 episodes to look back too-which is marvelous, but why not 462?

Yeah I know. It would bore many people. Everyone has to have an ending. If Harry Potter went on forever, people would lose interest. But it’s my show. It wouldn’t bore me. Don’t I count for something? No? Okay…

Damn It.

Here I am, with my update.
This will be very putrid and poor blogpost so feel free to click out of it anytime.

The title pretty much describes my past week.
You know how when you’re sick and you can’t breathe through your nose, due to it being clocked up and because of that can barely smell? It has been proven that without the ability to smell your food, you will not know what you’re eating if you are blind-folded. I have never tried this out but I have seen many shows and commercials and videos on YouTube testing it out and it’s apparently  true.
I’ve come to the realization that just as much as you need your nose for various important things, your eyes are just (if even more) important. I say this because I was barely able to use my eyes the past week (and a half).

I saved a kitty 9 days ago. It was a male kitty that apparently society calls a runt? I’m not sure why it’s labeled like that. Because it was left out? Or… like the 13th pig? If you know that documentary.
I don’t get it. It was left in the flipping garbage can along with the family’s garbage. I was just about to throw my bag of trash in it when I heard desperate meowing. I didn’t realize it was coming from the garbage can itself so I browsed around for ten minutes. I realized when I threw my trash into the can and the meowing stopped. My heart stopped as well, I thought I killed the poor thing.
Thankfully I didn’t! I rummaged through the garbage can and can you imagine a poor kitty looking up, like he was opened to the gates of heaven.

He wasn’t feisty at all, he nuzzled into me with great acceptance.
Naturally he was very sick and weak. I could feel his bones when I would touch him and he had a very weak meow. He was exhausted. And yes, he’s a boy, that’s why I am referring to him as a he.
Needless to say he stayed with me. My dad was against it at first because we already have cats and no matter how much we love them, financing so much food and veterinarian care get’s expensive.

Through all this joy and of course fright for the little guy’s life, I didn’t ”find the time” to blog much. I am generally infatuated by cats, even though I’ve had over 100 in my lifetime (literally). They get to me every time and I get so caught up that I watch them sleep and after awhile fall asleep next to them.
Little did I know he had some mild eye infection that isn’t easy to see from animals unless by a vet’s eyes.

I got the eye infection, touching him, touching my face, eventually touching my eyes. Now It’s nothing serious, mind you.
The infection started maybe 6 days ago and for the first 3 days I thought it was nothing. You know how eyes can easily get irritated by dust, hair or anything really. Mine started to itch the first day and I scrubbed it off as nothing. It’ll pass by tomorrow.
Tomorrow they itched again, more frequently during the day. Again, nothing, I didn’t find it valuable enough to check it.
The third day, when I woke up, it itched so bad that I couldn’t see from constant need to scratch it. The more I scratched, the more it stung and eventually stated to hurt.
It wasn’t anything but redness and pure itch. Constant, (un)bearable, blinding itch.

It was a case of conjunctivitis and I’m still curing it. It’s not anything serious. It’s actually VERY common. All ages get it and it’s very easy to get. I’m sure you’ve heard a million times to wash your hands as soon as you walk through your door after being out. Well that’s good advise because conjunctivitis can even occur if a person with conjunctivitis had scratched their eyes fiercely and held on to a bus pole, you took that pole, hugged it with your hand and touched/scratched your eyes.
It doesn’t have to happen but it’s possible.
It was very hard keeping up with it. I’m not saying I saw darkness in front of me the entire time or that I couldn’t walk. But because of the infection my eyes we’re always under pressure and they were tired. It made me very sleepy more often, I felt like a zombie. We definitely need everything nature has given us and we have it for a reason.
I was NOWHERE near a blind person and God forbid that I am ever or anyone in the world, but just not being able to use my eyes for a tiny portion of what I’m used to terrified me.

Honestly, experienced people will say, “You can’t get conjunctivitis from animals and vise versa” and I thought so too. But the cat was “diagnosed” with it too so, I’m just guessing. Who knows.  It MIGHT have been a crazy coincidence that I got it in some other form and me and the cat just happen to meet at the appropriate time. I do not know.

It’s really nothing dangerous if taken care off on time.
The infection starts off as basically fierce itching but because it IS an infection, as any, it can spread and grow. It CAN, if not medicated and treated ’cause even blindness (serious cases but I don’t think anyone would go on with such rashes on their EYES and not check it after a week max) or impaired vision. 
It doesn’t have deadly outcomes but do you really need anything else from damaging your eyes. Especially if you wear glasses, damn it! >.<

I’m happy to say my eyes are great now, it only took two days and today is the sixth and my eyes are nice. I’m happy about that!

I hope you guys had a great Halloween yesterday!
My doctor’s appointment wasn’t in regards to my eye problem. My mom is a bit of a hypochondriac so she made me go to the dermatologist to check some beauty marks she found rather odd.
… They were in perfect shape, but my mom… Eh.

I love you guys. Have a great day!
Wash your hands, take care of your health. It’s where it all starts from! ❤ 🙂

Knowledge Is Power

I am terrified to post this but yet feel so firmly about it. It is something I have wanted to mention awhile back but even if I wrote the post out, checked it a number of times, I ended up deleting it or. Or drafting it, but eventually it ended up in the trash.
Why? It’s a very sensitive topic that I think requires a great deal of thought before the mouth and tongue start swishing.
I found a way to do what I want to do, without doing it. I strongly apologize to anyone that get’s offended but please have an open mind. It is not my intention to hurt anyone or make them feel like they need to justify themselves to me in the comments or anywhere. You have the freedom of choice.

What I’m talking about is animal abuse, and veganism/vegetarianism creeps in. I am no expert on anything and much less on this peculiar topic and nor is Kalel, mind you. I say Kalel because the following text I am going to share with you is rightfully hers. Everything she has written, is her own true, blunt passion for helping animals.
Due to wanting too avoid the risk of saying something hurtful or offending, while Kalel has made such a marvelous job at avoiding it already, I am just going to leave a link: Knowledge Is Power and copy paste the crutial things I agree with but want to state.
If you wish not to read Kalel’s post due to it being rather long but are curious as to what I am reffering too, please read carefully and with understanding.
Just trying to build awareness and maybe inspire you. 

I strongly believe that everyone has the choice to do what they want in life. However, I also believe that everyone should be AWARE of what they take part in. Let’s face it- we are IGNORANT creatures. ALL OF US. We think we know everything, when in reality we know jack shit. Sometimes we need to expand our mind and let the idea of something new come in, swish it around, then spit it back out if necessary… but allow it the chance to possibly absorb, or grow.

HEALTH. I understand that this isn’t exactly a well-known fact, because most people don’t follow health studies posted on the internet, but consuming meat/dairy IS causing disease. Please, research for yourself, google “Harvard Meat Study” and there will be a plethora of articles about heart disease and various cancers. Meat/dairy is loaded with cholesterol and the high-meat/high-dairy diet that the average person has today, IS killing them. Heart-disease, to be exact. Heart-disease kills more people than ANYTHING else in this world (followed up by cancer, which also has MANY studies linking it to meat/dairy-consumption), 17.5 million just last year. This has nothing to do with added growth hormones/GMOs, we are talking STRICTLY cholesterol. (My own added note:Please realize that she is not blaming only meat/dairy products for mentioned diseases. Many other causes  exist next to them, but they ARE a factor).

INNOCENT LIVES. WHY KILL SOMETHING THAT YOU DON’T NEED TO SURVIVE? Doesn’t that seem a bit selfish? Do you think your life is of greater value than these creatures? Do you think that you are SO FAR superior over them that you can control their entire, miserable lives just for your burger? They may not speak our language, carry cell-phones or be creating the next Empire State Building, but that DOES NOT mean that they are not intelligent, compassionate creatures who deserve respect.

-I respect religion and I understand it. However, if you think God would be ok with his creations being held captive for a year and brutally tortured, just for your burger… you’re wrong. Animals were meant to live free, not in a tiny crate. There is nothing natural about what’s happening. There is nothing NATURAL about cows being forcefully impregnated their entire life to produce milk for you. For them to be standing all day, in an area too small to even turn their body, hooked up to a pumping machine. (My own added note: Watch ”If Slaughterhouses Had Glass Walls” video on YouTube for proof of how a BIG AMOUNT of animals are treated in America. Just one example. (It’s age-restricted and for a good reason)). Things have changed since the biblical times, and it is NOT NATURAL.

-The circle of life is when a lion eats a gazelle. That lion NEEDS that meat to survive. That lion is only killing that gazelle because its instinct tells it to. And if you want to talk about the “food chain”, guess what? We are FAR from the top of the food chain. With that mentality, guess we should just feed ourselves to the bears, gorillas, and wild cats, because, THEY are the top of the food chain. If you’re going to use science to back up your nature as a meat-eater, you can’t include weapons. We are talking man vs wild-animal. And man loses.

-Yes, cavemen ate meat. But why does that translate to “we are meant to eat meat”? Evolution does not mean destiny.

-I have saved my biggest pet peeve for last. Almost ANY time I mention animal equality or veganism, I get people who say “What about the starving children in Africa?”, “What about this, what about that?”.There are MILLIONS of problems in this world.
And I think this issue is close to my heart because the animals are VOICELESS. Not many people will care about them or fight for them. They are prisoners. It hurts me deeply because I see animals as equals. I know that may shock some people, because most people find humans to be superior. But I view a life as a life. I see videos of those animals being tortured and killed and it affects me as much as it would if they were replaced with humans.

Side note- I’m going to ask you to REALLY dig deep on this one. So open in your mind in preparation for what I’m about to say. WHY are humans more important than animals? Did you know that humans have done NOTHING but destroy this planet? That “animals” have been around LONG before humans (we’re talking scientific proof here, not biblical) and that this planet belonged to them before we swooped in and claimed it as ours. Did you know that EVERY single creature contributes to the eco-system that keeps our planet thriving and working, with the ONE exception of the human?? We contribute NOTHING. We only destroy. We are a virus. So why do we think we are more important? We are self-righteous creatures and we are disgusting. No life is more important than another. All life is important and should be respected. Even wild meat-eaters (a mere 25% of the animal kingdom) are respectful of the life they take. Humans are not. 

There is SO MUCH but this is where I will draw MY line, even though 99% of what she said, I say YES.
I truly hope to whoever went through this, understands that I am only spreading awareness. I also suggest to watch the documentary Earthlings. It is an eye-opener. You can find it anywhere, even on youtube.
If you know about all of this and feel bad for the animals but choose to eat meat, that’s your choice, your life. You do not need to feel shame for it, but believe me, change will be made.
The biggest changes take time and effort!
You do you in the mean time! ❤

I realize how horrible the quotations look absolutely awful on the original site. I can’t do anything about it.

I Feel Stuck.

I hate admitting it’s my fault but I guess it is. I’m sure all you have felt like your past won’t leave you alone or is constantly repeating itself and making itself present once again. What do you do when that happens, when you’re not even trying to do it.

Alright, maybe I am but that’s only because I am scared for what’s coming. There’s not much I see in front of me and there’s a lot behind me. A lot of things that are unresolved and that I don’t want to let go off until they resolve or at least go away on it’s own. I was never good with letting go of something or someone I once truly loved. I’m not talking about necassarily ex boyfriends here, but I guess romance has an impact on all of it.
I like to think of myself as a hopeless romantic and without love or at least someone I love or used to love being in my life, I feel like I’m half empty. Like, it’s my duty to fill that whole. I have no clue in hell where did my last YEAR of single hood go. What did I do?

I don’t like to admit to myself that I do want love and I do want to have those butterflies and stay up late at night thinking and day dream of everything that can happen. Have the bright hopes and goofy smiles feeling there’s no care in the world. At least that’s how falling in love feels for me. The whole world shines when you’re in love and evey love songs makes sense. I do want to move forward but with the elements that stayed in my past.
How do you cope with that?

I can’t move. My past holds me, draws me back and pulls even though I don’t turn my head, not once. But I know why it’s doing that and I know why my heart allows it. But I also know in my mind that I can’t look back so much, because it’s not past of a few months gone away. It’s at least two years which can never return. That’s not healthy to hold onto and I realize this, but the resentment I have for myself and the world most of the time, just doesn’t let me move. It honestly scares me from time to time because I’m going back to phases.
It would be a phase now of something that was once a real issue. It’s frightening because I don’t know how to deal with it.

The worst of it is, it’s changing me. Not knowing how to  deal with my resentment and emptiness, is making me shut down. Lose compassion or the wish for interaction with other people. I can actually feel my heart shutting down my emotions.
You know something’s wrong when eating, drinking (not in an alcoholic sense, I don’t do that), even hanging out with your friends isn’t working. Hobbies don’t interest me, music makes no real sense.
Especially not love songs. Most of the times I can’t truly understand them. Today, I had a throw back on one of Selena’s songs, one of which I completely forgot about and that was ”Sick of you”. The first song in awhile that has made me feel something. Not sure what it was because I’m not mad at anyone, I’m not sick of anyone and I’m not cool with laying low and it doesn’t feel great to let go of anything. But it felt like if there is even a cm of my body that feels that way, but I’m in denial about it, it loosened it up. Some of the resentment but it was not nearly enough. We’re talking a split second.

Many have told me that I am just bored and don’t know what to do with my life. I am bored, I am excruciatingly bored. But you’re missunderstanding my boredom.
I’m not bored because I have nothing to do, I have plenty to do, but nothing of it satisfies me. In my head, that makes sense. My head is way too puzzled to re-think said statement and see if it makes sense.
Boredom can be cured but it’s a short term life. Go bungee jumping, come back and say you’re bored again. Go sky diving, finish and say you’re bored again. It’s not that kind of boredom. I’m bored of myself, my life. Seriously.

My silver lining is Sims. Praise Jesus for it. I can’t wait till I come home from school tomorrow. I have a good few hours before dad comes back home from work and cements his butt on his chair until he has to go to work again. Or pee.

Even if I did get a chance ot move forward with someone, someone else let’s say that, it’s still incredibly scary because again. My heart wants elements FROM my past, not the present. The present sucks garbage bags, like a vacuum.

I probably shouldn’t be writing this at 0:43 when I need to get up in five hours but it’s what kept me up. I will go sleep and I love you if you read till this line.
I just wish that the lines:
After a hurricane, comes a rainbow.

  • There’s light at the end of the tunnel
  • There’s light at the end of the tunnel.

And all of that sentimental **** is true.

Hah, see? That slipped under the tips of my fingers on its own. I swear.

Day 19: Your Biggest Regret In Life

Eh, a subject where most people look at me and either say ”Aw that’s so sad…”, or look at me with a poker face and say, ”Are you serious? You’re just a teenager, don’t dramatize it” and honestly, it sucks to hear. Mostly from older fellow people. Partially, you are right. I am a teenager but that also means that exactly because of that, I don’t have ”so many” years behind me. I mean, I have 16, but 6 of them actually matter in bigger aspects. But even so, it was hard for me As That teenager. I can’t say that my biggest regret is not going to college, or selling my car, or not accepting a once in a lifetime job opportunity or buying an apartment or not getting married to the right man and you get the point.

But anywho, I just needed to say that, makes me feel lighter about talking about it.
But so, when I first started writing this, I thought I would talk about the time my parents got divorced and me moving back in with my father. For many years, that Was my biggest regret because he and I were not in good relations and have not been for years. But, I guess you could say in the last 2 years maybe, I got older and things kind of ”fell into place” and things are neutral. I guess time heals everything no? So I wouldn’t say that anymore. I still live with my dad and it’s 6 years of their divorce. Not gonna lie, the first 3 we’re hell for me and left concequenes. The 4th year was a cautious year, you know, watching my footsteps all around. 5th year was a breakthrough, but ANYWAY.

Why am I still talking about this. Ah! I need to censor myself.

So, my biggest regret would have to be; Letting a girl into my life. It was my fault and my naiveness and my, ugh. It happened in 2012, when I was in a wonderful relationship with someone, I said I will not mention his name. Hehe. But I was. I think that just by mentioning, ”a girl” and ”boyfriend”, you can guess what happened? But no, he didn’t cheat on me.
It was stupid of me to even let her into my life and not suspect a thing, since this girl was connected with a few other people I did not trust or respect at that time.
I don’t know where was my naive brain when I let her talk to him or myself and fall for her lies. She even used pictures of some famous blogger who had closed down their blog.
And I wouldn’t even know that if a friend, Patrick at that time didn’t check the pictures up on google. I wouldn’t even know and when I scolded her for it, she was like, ”Oh, so you’ve been spying on me?”. Like, WHAT IN HELL?
Ugh, it aggravates me till this day and yet, still, my naive brain didnt stop it at time. What she did and the things she lied about, left serious consequences with my trust and VERY SADLY, with my boyfriend. And mind you, this was all online. I know it’s a common thing to be fooled with and I know, that’s why sites like Facebook or any site is never truly safe.

Ultimately, it’s not my biggest regret because she hurt me – I’m honestly over that part. I am not hurt by the things she lied about and the things she said and what the group she had with her said and did. I don’t care anymore. What makes me cry till this day is the fact she messed with my head and emotions so much that I couldn’t trust my boyfriend for a long time and made me hurt him. That’s what I regret most of all because let me tell you, letting my ego get the best of me was what ended that relationship.
I blame myself for it and feel horrible.

You know that saying, or quote or line,  ”You don’t know what you had until you’ve lost it”? That’s one of those things. I let my go consume me and I basically put him through guilt trips and did, god, just things that I am now afraid of repeating. The saddest part of it all was, I was sure I was right, that I had justifications for my actions, until the day he as well said ”No. Done.”. At that moment, book, realization, nothing that happened, nothing that was said ever truly mattered!! All the things I attacked him for, all the STUPID FU*KING SH*T I did and said we’re coming back in flashes and it was… It’s something I cry over right now. It was all done unconciously I promise you.
I would do anything to take it back, or do anything to make it right.

One of my biggest fears because of that now, is taking someone for granted and everything they do and everything they say. To let myself feel like someone is going to stay and have to stay for whatever they did, just because they said they loved me. They don’t. I contributed to that relationship and that love and I made everything worse and I made him feel horrible almost every day and I didn’t give anything back.

So, yeah… Definitely that. I haven’t forgiven myself because I still haven’t made up for it and It’s something I always look back too. I don’t want that again. I don’t want to repeat that mistake.
People say it’s not in making the mistake, but it’s learning from it? Oh, I learned. I learned.

Day 15: Write 15 Facts About Yourself.

Why are facts so hard to come up with. The title originally says 15 interesting facts but I feel like I’d let you down from the start. I am not very interesting you guys and I feel like I repeat myself. Eh!, Let’s give it a try!

  1. I love The punk style. I can’t pull it off. It’s not who I am, but I love it. Absolutely. If I could pull off the edgy hair that looks oh so cool to me, have it died in black and hot pink, all those wrist bands, and that cool style of clothing, Gothic kind off but so cool. I’ve always thought about experimenting and trying it out but I know it’s just not me, so I feel like it’s not right. Or appreciated.
  2. I dislike everything mainstream. I am that kind of person who will refuse to listen, watch or wear something that’s way too trendy or that everyone is raving about, even though I didn’t even watch it, try it, or listen to it. I just don’t want to and that might be a prejudge. I’ll admit that, but I’ll watch it, wear it or like it when it stops being so popular. When it just becomes the second best thing.
  3. I’m starting to love change. In my look. I am realizing that I love to change my hair a lot and just experiment with it. Not like dying it, no. I love my color and the quality of my hair too much to dye it or curl it (since its naturally straight), a.k.a damage it, but different hairstyles, lengths and etc. I don’t know why, but I’m self-conscious, so I’ll probably never get around to making it a reality.
  4. I love my eyes. I just simply do. I don’t wear make-up, almost at all. I only wear mascara, and that is too define my eyes more. I naturally have TINY eyes, but you can’t know that because of my glasses. I have a very high prescription and the magnifying glass makes them look bigger and mascara even more prettier. I love my shape, my color! Hold on..!

    My eye

    This was taken last summer, my eyelashes are wet, that’s why they look weird and it was taken by accident. My eye color changes, always but it’s NEVER just ONE color. It’s always a mix and I actually think, no matter how cliché it sounds, that the color changes in addition to my mood. Hehe.

  5. I am a spender. I think I’ve mentioned this before in a blogpost but briefly, I hope. Money itches me in my pocket. I am willing to save up, I truly am and I have no problem with it, unless I am the one keeping my money. I’m not afraid to say that. Until I have money, I’m going to spend it and if not, my subconscious will itch me, how do I spend it. It’s very bad, especially since I ache for independence and that is not a good start, but with the right person and the right support, It can be turned around easily. I mean it!
  6. I am terrified of heights. Just, nope.
  7. I’m scared of staying out alone. This means exactly what it says. Not in my house, I don’t like too much company or too many people around me. I am an introvert. But if we go out, and there’s more than two of us, don’t try to scare me and hide somewhere for more than a minute but leave me completely alone. Especially if it’s after 8 at night! I swear, I get really scared and if you try to frighten me, I will cry a little bit. Don’t do that. 😦
  8. On that note, I am scared of going out after 9:30. If I am out with friends the entire day and I walk home or go home with them and it’s after 9:30, then I’m fine and I go home. (Actually even then, I rush down my building. Just in case, you know). But If I am home already and I want to go out, for whatever reason ALONE, It’s not a pleasant thought for me. If there is time for me to go and be back by 10, I MAY go out but run. After 10, NOPE.
  9. I have two stuffed animals at my mom’s place. I love stuffed animals but I feel weird buying them honestly, so I stick to my two. I have a little yellow, fluffy as the clouds, teddy bear and a puppy.
  10. When I was a baby, I almost died from chocking on a sip of milk. Yep.
  11. I love the show Rebelde. It wasn’t aired on TV for YEARS now, it’s an old show. It started in 2004 and I’m sure some of you may have heard of it. It’s a soap opera, Spanish soap opera. Don’t judge. It’s a band as well, formed from the show. I was little when it started, and I remember a certain group from my class wanted to form a group like theirs. I was the head. Mia Colucci. We used to sing in front of the class and make fools out of ourselves. But it was fun! And from it, I learned quite a lot of Spanish.
  12. I sadly bite my nails. I KNOW, IT’S BAD. IT’S A HABIT, THAT CAN BE FIXED. But, cupcakes. Frosting cupcakes. I’m getting better though, I don’t do it as often but I wish I could stop, all at once.
  13. I’ve had a real problem with head lice when I was little. If you’ve ever had head lice you know what a pain it is and I feel you. It is so annoying and so frustrating. Especially if you had beautiful, insanely thick hair as me. I remember I always had to have my hair insanely short. UGH. It’s such a waste.
  14. I plan things way too much. 
  15. I am an only child and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

This was a lot harder than I thought…

It’s Time…

It’s time, to face ourselves. To know our mission in this life.
What we were meant to be, what is the reason behind our existence.
Is it for the things in life that passes away?
Is it for the glory?
What will you be when you leave this life? Will you be satisfied then?
Will you have any regrets?
Will die smiling… while everyone around is crying?

We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that.
We all want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. 
We don’t want to hate and despise one another. 
In this world there is room for everyone, and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone. 

The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.
But it’s not over yet.
Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate.
Has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. 
We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in.
Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. 
Our knowledge has made us cynical. 
Our cleverness hard and unkind. 
We think too much and feel too little. 

More than machinery we need humanity.
More than cleverness, we need kindness, gentleness. 
Without these qualities, life will be violent and will be lost. 
Are we that different? 
Does skin color, eye color, eye shape and religion make that difference? 
Nobody has chosen his parents anyway. 
Our similarities are more than differences. 
Weren’t you this small once? Aren’t you sad watching Ace passing away?

Always put yourself in other’s shoes; 
If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too. 
One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching.
The real failure isn’t to not succeed, it’s by not trying at all. 
It’s time to know what LOVE is. 

Love is not what we see in movies. 
True love is sacrifice. 
Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself. 
Love is selfless, not selfish. 
Love is when you lay down your life to another, whether for your mother, father, brother, sister or your friend. 
Are you willing to lay down your life for them? 
Love is patient, love is kind. 
It doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast. 
It isn’t easily-angered, it isn’t self-seeking. 
Love doesn’t delight in evil. Love rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. 
Love never fails, love is everlasting. 
Love is internal, it is not proud. 

I’m thankful. I’m thankful for my mother for raising me all these years. 
I’m thankful for my father, who wasn’t perfect but I know he tried. 
I’m thankful for my brother’s and sisters, who believed in me when nobody else would. 
I’m thankful for my friends, who loved me when I didn’t deserve it. 
I’m thankful for my education, the food that I eat. 
I’m thankful that I’m alive breathing, because they are the reason. 
When everyone left me, all of them were still there. 
And special thanks to my supporters. 🙂