Calm The F Down With Your Confidence.

I am about to sound like such an asshole, but I am so done. I am so done with a big percentage of my gender.

First of all, I am sick and I am pissed because I am sick. I have been sick almost non stop for the past two months. It’s not even being sick, it’s having a goddamn mild cold that leaves you nowhere. You don’t have a high fever, you’re not throwing up, your stomach or anything internal is not hurting,you’re just coughing, sneezing, having sore throats, feeling weak and hopeless because you’re not right or left. You’re somewhere in the middle and you keep going back and forth.

On top of that, I really don’t need what I have been given. I feel like I have to put a disclaimer everytime III specifically write a blogpost. I am not trying to make a nice, educational blogpost, I am just annoyed as hell.

I have nothing against people being happy and feeling confident with what they’re doing with their life, how they’re doing it, on their looks, behaviour, whatever it may be. You do you, that’s great. But people, there is such a thing as being too confident. There is such a thing as thinking way too highly of yourself. And there is such a thing called being an asshole when you think you are just littering your confidence out into the world. I don’t stand this and I don’t respect it.

There’s a fine line between being self-centered and pretentious and confident.
I have this problem with so many people in real life and it is disturbingly frequent online and with female artists of any kind. I am that person that will dwell on the fact that some idiot said something I exclusively hate and bitch about how and why I disagree with it. Unfortunately for me, it happens way more often than I would prefer it. But also fortunately, I can’t and wouldn’t want to keep track of it all, I’d go insane.

When it happens I can explain exactly what I mean.

When someone feels the need to compare themselves to other’s in order to make a point that they are better in a certain aspect, or even directly need to state that the other individual’s trate is bad, is not CONFIDENCE.
Nor are you confident for being able to say that publicly without fear- because you allegedly have no fear,it’s who you are-, nor are you confident because You beautified Yourself by making someone seem less beautiful than you.

Posting a picture on a social media, posting a picture of your-oh let’s say, gym/workout progress, that seems to be a thing. Posting a picture of you trying to pull off a Kim Kardashian reer while you bend over a work out bar with full make up on, making a kissy face, i’m sorry, but that ALSO bugs the buggers out of me.

I strongly respect and appreciate people who- like Selena Gomez that do not have to ehance the fact that they are confident and that they love their body and that they love life and that life is glorious and… *breathes*. She just does it. She dresses like she doesn’t mind her curves, she put’s her hair up like she doesn’t mind her seemingly bigger ears, she doesn’t even draw attention to it even when people make comments.

It sounds so wrong and so selfish, because I do agree people should love their body, should embrace it, should embrace their flaws, should be happy, but just like I don’t like people ranting on motivational and inspirational quotes about life and how it’s glorious and how it’s an adventure, I don’t like people overcompensating their looks so they come as confident.

It is overcompensating if you need to grind on the fact that you ‘have an amazing smile even if i have uneven teeth. Suck it haters. #HatersGonnaHate #Spread Love’. Really?

I believe that someone who is truly confident in the most amazing of ways, someone who believes in what they say and what they do and how they do it, they don’t need to justify it or show it off or even mention it. They do it. I respect that. I really do. You didn’t say a thing, but something to learn from is said when you do speak. That’s amazing to me.

It’s perfectly okay to think you’re different, that you stand out, that you have traits you find special and nice. Be different, stand out, embrace those traits you think are special, keep them. Just do it. It shines through.

Confidence comes in so many packages. Confidence when it comes to apperance, physical appeareace, in acts of character, parenthood, certain decision in certain things LIKE parenthood. Almost all of those are different things.

I do understand that celebrities need to sometimes be motivational and inspirational to their fans, but I guess It’s just me that I try to avoid those types of ”speeches”. I find motivation and inspiration in every day acts. Just do what you do, don’t grind on the fact you actually do it and why you do it.

I’ve gotten many comments that my way of appoaching these types of topics are very odd, but it’s how it is. Very complicated, yet very simple. Everything has a line that can be crossed, everything has a limit. Even confidence.

Advertisements

Beauty Is In Everyone.

IMG_0096

Okay, you see this picture right here? That’s my face.
No, this is not a post in which I present myself to you guys. I have my own picture on my profile and even if you didn’t see it, my indentity is not news worthy.

I want to point out, that is my face. The picture isn’t fresh, meaning it’s not from Today, but I am freshly showered and I have freshly brushed minty teeth on the picture, with zero amounts of make-up whatsoever. That is how I am. That’s it.

I am not a victim of the bullying that is unfortunately often in the world, mainly on the internet, when it comes to determing someone’s beauty and the judgement of their looks. I don’t know if it’s because I had luck, because I do have pictures on the Internet on a few different social media’s, or it’s because I have stumbled upon people who think I am attractive.

Either way, I am so freaking sick of the uncontrolable judgement and abuse that is happening all over the world, each day to hundreds of different people. I am sick of hearing, and more so reading comments on any social media (Mostly Twitter and Instagram but all are included) anytime someone posts a picture, things that point out the smallest flaws and imperfections on a person’s face or body. Not to mention I am sick of people who are plain mean who aim to hurt the person by stating straight up insults.

“You’re ugly”, ”Ugh, your nose is too big”, ”You’re fat”, you’re this, you’re that.

First of all, Why?
Who wakes up and feels the need to write that. Why do you feel compelled to write the nastiest comment just because you’re given the option. Why can’t you over come the things you don’t find attractive on that person and focus on the smallest positive thing. It can be as simple as complementing the earrings that person is wearing. His or her necklace, glasses, sunglasses, ring, hair, the way they dress, their shirt or jeans. All of the effort you put into restricting yourself from writing a nasty comment can do wonders for the person you’re going to instead compliment.
No, this does not mean this; Oh, I hate this picture, your legs look fat but I do like your earrings.

What are you expecting from a comment like that? Do you expect that this person will give such importance to your comment that they’re going to go and try to change that? Change their appearence for you and society, just for the 10 seconds you spend on their Instagram or Twitter account to write that comment.

Second of all; Nobody is perfect and neither are you. You don’t think that this person knows their flaws and imperfections? You don’t think they know their skin isn’t perfect, or that their teeth aren’t as white as they could be or that they have trouble adjusting their weight. What gives you the right to go and point out flaws in a person. Do you think you’re perfect? Do you think you have reached all the ”standards of beauty” and nobody can say anything bad about your face and figure?

Just as a reminder; By leaving a comment, thinking that you’re trying to be ”rational” about someone’s apperance, when it’s only just to point out that they have ”big” flaws in their apperance (like that’s such a horrible thing), really show cases a big character flaw you have.

I am no saint. I have said mean things to somebody, out of jealousy and anger and when I simply disliked a person. Be it privately or a celebrity of some sort. I know what you’re thinking. What gives you the right to ”preach” about it then. Nobody is a saint, but I think it’s important to still have that awareness in the back of our minds that it is NOT OKAY. Because, as long as you have that, you just might control your words and not let your tongue be faster than your brain. You have the understanding and therefore, stop yourself from doing something that you wouldn’t like to be done to you. 

You don’t want people to point out your flaws, you know your flaws. If you try to embrace them or work on them if you can, you shouldn’t be judged for it.

Everyone has an opinion, and you have the right to think someone is unattractive to you. I may be the ugliest person in the world for someone reading this. You have the right to think what you want too, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to hurt people’s feelings intentionally.

Luckily, there are people that go through this, ”normal” average people and bigger public figures and celebrities that have enough confidence and strength to deal with it. But cyber bullying of any kind can lead do horrific things happening that have unchangeable consequences. Do you really want to a possible part of that? Like so many were, in the deaths of so many young teenagers. That is a big, very big issue that doesn’t really fit with what I wrote above, but I felt it necessary to say that sometimes, everything goes too far.

Everything and anything can be an insecurity. You don’t know what that may be. Stick to the positive. As a wise, clumsy rabbit once said; If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

There is no such thing as an image of beauty, something that defines it and says THIS IS IT. People see other people differently. Is this really so hard to understand? Someone’s batt is another person’s angel.
This goes for both the male and female sex. Not only women are descriminated against and bullied when it comes to looks.

Angelina Jolie was nominated as one of the most beautiful women, if not the most beautiful women in the world. To me, she is not. I was going to make a comparison, but that would demolish everything I have said here. To me, she is scary. I feel this way, but I don’t feel the need to go on her Instagram or even search up news about her just to leave my opinion out into the void. I have the right to dislike her, and you have the right to dislike me for saying that.

I know that there are reasons or as many would call them excuses people have for leaving comments like this. I myself have had them before. There is really no excuse. We all know you have enough strength to restrict yourself from typing out a nasty comment. Don’t add salt to their open wounds.

And did you ever notice that we’re all so very strong when we’re not looking into each other’s eyes? Would you be able to walk up to that annoying, most popular and most ”loved” person in your class and tell them right to the face everything you would tell someone you don’t know on Instagram? Someone that can’t affect your life in any other way. Even if you know the person and you’re 100% convinced, like you know that that person is an asshole to you in real life as it show cases on their photos, don’t become that asshole. Be the better man, go to someone’s profile and leave a good comment. The smallest thing.

It really doesn’t matter what age someone is. *Even though I am a big dissaprover of young children (-14) making selfies, exactly because of this*, If they post pictures on which they seem like they’ve got it all figured out, you do not know that and you do not need to test it. You don’t care. Do you have everything figured out with your own body image? You do not know the insecurities someone has. That positive comment you decided to leave just might boost their confidence about that one little thing and that does wonders.

Many have a defense mechanism to fighting their insecurities by putting up photos that show case none. If you think you are beautiful, let other’s feel it too.

Put yourself in their shoes. Beauty can be found anywhere in anything, if you want to look.
Let people feel beautiful for even a second.

Accepting Yet Another Reward, Again!

Heheh, well this put a little cheer to my night. Quite a few things did actually. I’m getting better and better by the day, health wise. I’ve made a few new friends over the past days.

I’ve managed to pick myself up, dust myself off and force myself to go out, once. I did, with a good friend that brought two other people, through which I met another person. The joy’s of friendship and being social and positive. Today, I spent most of my day chatting with Djordje and getting to know him better, and mind you, it’s 4:30 in the morning. I’ve finally found out the age of one of my very favorite bloggers here on WordPress. I’m still confused about that but pleasantly surprised at the same time. And now, the lovely and exceptionally talented Britta has nominated for the Sisterhood of The World Bloggers Award!

I’ve been nominated for this award I think a couple times before but it’s such a joy and honor. I feel like I should honor that someone felt my blog, writing and I with it were worthy of any award. A big big thank you to her. She is one fantastic strong, talented lady, who I have learned a few things from.

The rules I think are very much known to everyone. In a nutshell, you need to post the award logo, thank the blogger who nominated you, answer their questions they’ve left you, and possibly leave ten questions of your own to your nominee’s, and nominate seven people.
Also, I really need to think about my nominee’s, because there aren’t many people that I haven’t already nominated before – in a few other awards as well. I don’t think I’ll be able to assemble all of them right away. I’ll answer the questions Britta has left me, I’ll come up with ten questions of my own, but I’ll need to come back and edit my nominee’s in.

  1. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? 
    – I would really love to visit Australia. It’s such a beautiful and fantastic country to live in. I don’t think I would adapt on the lifestyle there, how they are used to living, but to me, it’s nature’s blessing.
  2. What has been your greatest learning experience thus far? 
    – My learning experience. Everything I have ever learned has been learned, in mostly the easy way rounds. My past I guess. I feel like that’s such a cliche answer but it’s really true. My past is basically what formed my mind, or at least, encouraged me to learn from it and think with my head. My present and the fear of my future makes it as steal as it is now.
  3. Who/what/where do you draw your strength from? (you can answer for all three W’s or just one…it’s up to you!)
    – Who, myself. I am a very self-concious person and I don’t like anyone to see me in my moment’s of weakness. My strength draws and ooze’s out of me in times where my character demands for it to be at it’s best. If I accomplish that, I feel stronger and eventually build it even more.
    – What, from the insides of people. That sounds so freaking creepy, doesn’t it. But, someone has to be a very specific, but if found, it’s where I get my inspiration from. My motivation and my strength for whatever that I need to do. Emotionally, whatever it may be.
  4. What blog post of yours are you most proud of and why?
    – Dang, I don’t have one of these. I really really love my post “Straight up Happiness? I Think Laughter“, because it’s something I live by. Something that really defines me in the simplest of words. It was something I thought about in front of my screen, I was telling it to myself, and wrote it down. And loved it. I stand by what I said.
  5. Your philosophy towards life in a few words…what is it?
    – You were born, you’re gonna die. It’s gonna end. Depressing, I know but.
  6. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? (apologies if you do not eat dairy…I myself get ill from ice cream, but still dream about those days when I could scarf down Ben Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough without getting an upset stomach)
    – I try to cut back on dairy, aiming towards veganism. But generally, I love old plain vanilla. It’s perfect in it’s simplicity.
  7. What does your dream home look like?
    – A picture that would describe exists not, sadly. It’s not called a Dream home for nothing.
  8. What is one thing you hope to have accomplished in ten years?
    Hope to have accomplished. A one way plain ride towards America. At least that.
  9. What is your favorite book?
    Honestly, I love the Harry Potter books. I love The Hobbit, I love Lord of the Rings. I don’t know.
  10. One thing that fills you with joy…what is it?
    – Animals.

These awards take up a lot of time. Really. I need to be snappy;

  1. What would be your dream pet?
  2. If you could do only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  3. Would you ever like to find out when you are going to die? Why or why not?
  4. What is your favorite thing about the WordPress community?
  5. Which are some bloggers that inspire you or brighten up your day?
  6. How do you feel about The Hobbit movies?
  7. Out of all the social media websites you know, which is your least favorite and why?
  8. What is one attribute you are most proud off on yourself?
  9. If you could move anywhere, where would it be?
  10. If you woke up and a genie offered you only one wish you may use selfishly, what would you wish for?

I was really quick with my questions. I think you’ll find them quite stupid but I think interesting to answer too.

Now, my nominees are:

Fiction Limbo, The Finicky Cynic, Coffee and Musings, I Prefer Deep Blues and Sea Foam Greens..

Two are very frequent guests of mine, but two favorites of mine. The finicky cynic amazes me with each post,how much we have in common, and Z’, Z is fabulous. On the other hand, the two remaining bloggers are ones I have been loving in the past few weeks. I don’t show it very often, but I’m one of those stalkers. I’ll silently stalk and poof, all of a sudden I’m there and you never knew I existed.

I love these awards. Even more so when it’s not 5am, but I wanted to do it. Now I need to hop into bed asap. Like now.

A big big thank you to Britta once more. She was the charry on top of a non-sarcastically fantastic cake today!

I’m Grateful For Her

It is currently noon and I just had breakfast. I wanted to say it was a late breakfast but counting down the past weekends and years, it’s really not. But anyhow, it was late considering I woke up at nine and stayed in bed till basically half past eleven. I was talking with my mom throughout all this time, about everything that was on my mind this morning. It’s always so refreshing and wonderful.

It was supposed to be a cuddling session. She cuddled up in bed beside me and I randomly started thinking in flashbacks. Our conversations drift from one subject to another in the most spontaneous way. We mentioned 10 different aspects of our thinking and 10 different examples, yet we’re still on track with what we want to say.
I asked “Mom?”, “Yeah?”, “Elvis Presley died from over doze of drugs right”, “Yes?”, “Would I die instantly if I took the same amount he had at his last breath right now, because I’ve never tried it?”, “Probably, yeah.”.

Why was I asking myself this question, I am not entirely sure. I think I was calculating in my mind what kind of death that must be. Is it fast, painful, slow, in hallucinations and are those people even aware that they’re dying if it’s slow? I came to the conclusion it is fast or a person just doesn’t know it happened. They fall asleep and never get up. Their heart stops, they run cold.
But goodness, I did not start this blog post to talk about death. Nor am I planning any of this. Let me get back to my point.

A conversation that started on the topics of drugs, we drifted to a topic of life. Everything regarding people, their insecurities and how do we end up in the bad times like we do, life, characters and the injustice that exists in the world.
As mom would say, I inherited the same ‘curse’ she has. She has an extremely open mind, it stretches in all directions and she tries to rationalize & understand everything. The world is not black and white for us, there’s fifty shades of gray.

It’s a curse because you don’t find people similar to you very easily. And it’s a rough and bumpy ride to experiment who is and who isn’t. So since not many people can grasp all our thoughts or even understand them, your thoughts are pretty much left to yourself. Me and my mom prefer that sometimes. We don’t feel the need to spat on and on about our opinions to everyone and share ”our wisdom”. If we have sometimes to say, if we think we should, we’ll say it. If there’s no reason, why when ignorance is inevitable and there’s no point in arguing with a unreasonable person.

I finally told her everything that was on my mind and I told her about me becoming cynical. Why I look down on too confident people, why do inspirational happy life related quotes anger me, why I feel like they generalize the entire world, and why I am so easy to dismiss someone out of my life.  As always, she was an amazing listener and an even better responder. As always, she understood me and we started finishing each other’s sentences. She saw deeper meaning in my words and she truly understood what I was saying and what’s even better, she agreed. She and I are completely the same.

I won’t get into the conclusions and all that’s been confirmed in my head, but I will say I am feeling like the luckiest 16 year old in the world. I truly have an amazing mother that I don’t know what I’d do without.
We’ve done this thousands of times but each makes me feel peaceful and like a weight has been lifted. Each makes me feel grateful I have her the way she is.
She’s always been patient with me and what matters absolutely most to me is, not only has she taught me {and herself in the process} too be open with her and not fear her judgment, she kept that promise. I truly can talk to her about Anything, I mean anything. Even the craziest, most embarrassing things you could ask a parent, I have asked her. {with boundaries around everything of course, I know my lines. She is the parent after all}.

People get so freaked out when I tell them about my relationship with my mom. Us two, are completely free and crazy. We have made some ridiculously funny memories and almost all of them are due to our mutual stupidity and silliness. And she says I am the only one she can be that freely with. She’s my mom and my best friend.

No family is perfect, and ours certainly isn’t but us two, we’re pretty damn close as a team. I don’t do grateful posts and I realize not everyone can have a good relationship with their parents due to various reasons, I myself with my father. For years and I’m still struggling.
Exactly why I am grateful to have my mom. She’s my safety net and my biggest push. A beautiful woman with a beautiful heart.

Child Beauty Pageants & Honey Boo Boo – Yuck.

I find it incredibly annoying when someone’s tongue is way too faster than their brain. Stop and think about what you’re going to say.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Everyone has a right to live their life the way they wish. But someone already states the words,that they’re entitled to their own opinion, you have to be careful that opinion is justified. Surely you thought of the issue if you’ve already formed an opinion.
If you didn’t give it any thoughts, you are most likely not fully informed or just scrapped the leftovers off of someone else’s plate.

I have a tiny corner in my mind that passes judgment to those who enjoy a very wrong, very disturbing show called Honey Boo Boo. I have watched only one episode and I can say that was by far enough. It was very cringe worthy. And I thought Keeping Up With The Kardashians was bad.
I have seen enough pictures, read enough news and heard enough stories from personal viewers to say, I don’t understand why someone would like this show. Everything about this show is wrong.
I am not the type of person who will judge without notice. Especially when it comes to discussing a person’s taste and their views. I still am not. This is by far more complex, as everything is with me.
I can accept the fact that a person might like Honey Boo Boo. With a lot of sub questions and information and a few unnoticeable gag reflex’s, but I can. I won’t understand it, but I will accept it. Nowhere does it state that I need to understand everything and know the reasoning behind everything.

But what I won’t understand and won’t accept without a discussion, is how can someone speak against young kids, from the ages of 6 -12 or even under, wearing serious amounts of make-up, yet they find child beauty pageants and shows like Honey Boo Boo as an afternoon treat with tea and cookies?
Especially if someone’s a parent.

I don’t even have the words to discuss this matter further on. The question is self-explanatory and perfectly clear. You’re right about protesting against young kids wearing make-up and being put to society pressures that they need make-up in order to feel beautiful and wanted among others. That’s perfectly fine. I stand by that.
Every girl on earth is beautiful just the way she is, in her own way, just like you are. No eyeshadow, no lipstick, no eyeliner, no any kind of product can make you more beautiful than you are right when you wake up.

It’s something every girl doubts, something every girls struggles with. And further more, why train your child to become into a narcissistic freak when she grows up, believing she is the center of the world and much better than any other girl who doesn’t wear make up (but still is beautiful), just because she entered and maybe won a few pageants. Pageants make such unbelievable standards for so many young girls that actually stumble upon one. I’ve had countless comments from my younger cousins, “Look look! She’s so pretty. Can I be like her please? Pleeeease? I want to be as pretty as she is”. It actually sickens me.
Not only that there is such a network for these types of things, but that parent’s actually use their children for their own advantage. What do kids know at that age? Especially if they started out really young, as mere babies. It’s all they know off. Which makes it so perfect for the parents don’t it? None of it, absolutely none if it makes sense. Nothing good or entertaining about watching a poor 4 year old, walking down a stage, performing a weekly-trained performance to impress a few people in TONS and tons of make up and accessories. It’s so unnatural. It’s a child, not a doll.

If you love your child by the slightest and if you have her best interest in mind, why would you do that? Saying that you believe your child has great potential and has remarkable beauty is not an excuse by the slightest. There are other ways to show your daughter she is beautiful. So many parents succeed.

Thankfully, the show was canceled-


after ‘shocking’ news of her mother, “Mama June”.

That’s another thing. People still support Honey Boo Boo, thinking it was a comedic show, even after finding out that “Mama June” proudly stated she’s dating a man who was convicted of molesting and raping her older daughter. “Mama June” stated that she didn’t believe her daughter when she was first introduced to the information, and even when she realized it was true, she continued dating the man, with the following words:
He didn’t do anything bad to me. 

If you’re not against child beauty pageants, you can’t seriously tell me you are able to sustain watching this woman for any purpose.

UGHUGHUGH.

I am so mad right now.
I just know that you guys were aching the past 3 days. Where is she, where is Marija. We can’t live without her, her juicy and soo interesting posts?! Where has she gone?!
I didn’t go anywhere, but I had no flipping internet at my mother’s place! Something was wrong with her cables and it’s a working progress of a few weeks. Thankfully, I only have to stay for two full days.

But, enough for me to flipping miss and by the way, fail my 30 day challenge and also not be able to catch up on YOUR guy’s posts. Ugh, I was so mad throughout the weekend. It’s frustrating as HELL. Right now, I have been catching up and liking and commenting everything I can. I missed it, you know? I was on this great everyday streak. I’m gonna jump on the train once again but I feel so bad right now.
I really wanted to complete and finish the challenge right.

I know I can just keep going and write the 3 missing day’s, but I don’t know. I’ll think about it. AND FAST because my time is limited. Don’t get me wrong, I really want to but I failed either way. It’s a 30 day thing. I took 33, almost 34 days. UGH.
Anyway, how have you guys been? What have you been doing? I’m asking even though I’ll find out 99% in your posts. Anything new and juicy happening you ain’t telling us about? Don’t be shy.
I just know everyone is going to be like WOW SHE’S BACK, W/O. Our lives have meaning again. Hehe.

No I’m kidding of course but really, I wanna catch up with you personally. Tell me everything!
I promise I’m back now. I’m actually going to have a few days “off” from school. Well, not a few days. And not days off. You guys ever heard of Block practices?
Some think it’s something to do with music and singing, no, nothing like that. It’s known here. My school has a lot of them, especially the 2nd year of High School. More than 30. For me, it’s kind of these events we go too on that day that have to do with Chemistry and products and creams and beauty related shows and speeches. Because I’ll be a Chemist for sure in my life. Who knows, anything can happen.
Anywho, I have a Block practice on Thursday, Saturday and Wendsday next week. That’ll be nice.
Especially because if we’re going to the cosmetics fare, we’ll pay a dollar fifty, get in and get out. The teacher just needs to write down we showed up for the ”class”. Hehe. It’ll be fun.

I hope you guys are still with me. I’ll see if I’ll catch up with the posts from the challenge. What do you guys think? Should I?