Another School Year Awaits

September is hereeeee! I am oddly very excited about that fact!

Just finished my first day at school, literally just came back home. Today has been both terrifying and delightful! I don’t know what it is about the beginnings of school years, I find them absolutely thrilling and exciting. Especially that first day, coming back, seeing your friends, sitting in your old chair, your own spot. (Unless like me, where you have to change your classroom because 1st year and 2nd year can’t be on the same floor. But guess what? A BETTER classroom).

Having all these bright hopes, positive aspects, I’m gonna study right from the beginning, I’ll work hard! I’m gonna take care of all my notebooks and pencils and erasers and all those thinga-ma-mombs. I loove shopping for notebooks, pencils, markers, stationary’s. I’m going to do that hopefully today.

I sound so positive and happy – and I am! – but I can’t say. . . I’ve had some unpleasant surprises as well. It can’t be a regular school day without them, right?
First of all, second year of highschool is a lot harder than first year. I lost some classes, like Biology, History, Art class, but I got more Chemistry, Chemistry, Chemistry. Ugh!

But, it’s all good, it’s all good. Working hard will solve it. It’s just a little bit more work. … Yeah, I think I can actually believe that.

I might get over it in a few days and be so sick of school, but those first few days where you’re just chill and act like ”No problem, no real homework, no real work, no nothing”. I usually follow that feeling for way too long and don’t realize the difference between that feeling and when we actually start working. But not this year!

I hope you guys have it good and aren’t in the doldrums too much about school. I’m sure all of you will do absolutely great! I wish you all luck.

Praise Jesus.

*before starting randomly checks youtube* . . . Pewdiepie: (video) ”The Walking Dead: Season 2: Episode 5 – Part 1 – THE BEGINNING OF THE END IS HERE!!!” . . . YESSSS! *postpones writing*. . . I love EVERYTHING The Walking Dead by the way. ❤

Okay, I’m back now. That was inteeense. But that’s not what this post is about, I wanna share with you guys some very happy news for myself. . . You might know what’s coming but I FLIPPING PASSED. Oh thank the rainbows and leprechauns on the other side. It wasn’t AT ALL bad as I thought it was going to be. But still, you have that conscious somewhere, that it just MIGHT be bad.

I woke up at 5 flipping in the morning, because of my mom’s boyfriend. We needed to head off for the car that early. On the way I know I had to eat something, because I was feeling sick as soon as I opened my eyes. Stess-sick, not sick sick. I did, the yogurt served me well. It was reallly refreshing.
My exam was starting at 9 and I was at my school by eight. Wasn’t planned, but mom’s boyfriend underestimated his own car and the distance in between. I waited a good 25 minutes before David came. From then on, it was smooth and fun, until 9:05. Heh…

But, it’s all good! It was quick, I knew everything she gave me. I was in there for about five minutes, she saw I knew, told me to get out and wait until everyone finished. My head teacher came out, ”You all passed”. W/o!

Honestly, I did feel happy but I am so drained from the stress that right now, I feel nothing. Why am I so complicated. Can’t I just enjoy success.
But really, this exam was stressing me pretty much all summer, because just knowing that failing leads to failing my goddamn year. Come on? It’s stressful.
Now, I’m just kind off. I’m good, no studying, I can just re-wind and not give a cupcake for the next week.

Can I share a secret with you guys? I’m kinda excited though. You know the beginning of the school year, new pencils, new notebooks, new books, new everything. That positive thinking, gonna start studying from the beginning! Won’t let my mistakes repeat. I TRULY WON’T, but I can’t wait to get around buying all the thingies. Feels good.
Ah… Bought a new Nike backpack as  well. Its BRIGHT pink, almost fluorescent pink, but Nike is a sports label, so its good! Ah, I’m just kinda tired and I honestly feel like sleeping for a 100 years and having someone kiss me awake. Mmmm

Scared & Nervous

You know those godawful and gut-wrenching feelings your body develops, a night before something big is supposed to happen? God, someone give me stress pills.

I am so nervous you guys. Tomorrow I have an exam I have to take in Physics. I know you’re like, but it’s still summer break? What exam, school is over?! What are you talking about?!
Well, Serbia is weird. Not only do we have to enroll (Is that the right word? I feel like you use that for college references) each year into the school if you wanna keep going, (You can just not enroll even if you passed and not continue your education) but you have to take an exam before you do. If you fail, you failed your year. WHAT THE CUPCAKES IS THAT?

My school is a Chemistry school, if you can call it just like that. I wouldn’t know the true translation anyway, tell no one. But, naturally, my universal classes are Chemistry duh, Physics, Mathematics and Biology… Biology and Chemistry are eezy peezy! But my brain does not compute Physics. Math I can handle but it’s really really hard still. I know Z is reading this and probably rolling her eyes at me, but I have no problem with tutoring! I swear! I need it. ;-; Both Physics and Math.

Physics, I know it’s logical and it’s basically the world around me but something about it, turns my brain into a twister of hell. Mainly the tasks. Ugh… but guess what?
Physics is my exam, TOMORROW. At 9am.
My mom’s boyfriend is getting his car he bought tomorrow morning at seven flipping thirty, we get the car by eight, and we’re off straight to my school.
Of course I studied. Right now, I know EVERYTHING. But you know that nervous block, five minutes before? Sweet baby jesus.

Thankfully, I won’t be alone. My friend David is going to be there, he promised. He’s the only one that can calm me and he’s going to wait outside until I get out. He can make me laugh and just, make me feel safer about the moment I walk through the door. I’ll take that, I’m happy about that. Only a few other students were schedule tomorrow, so I guess I’ll have them too but they’ll be just as nervous as me. Uuuuuuuuuuuugh.

I’m fine… I’ll be fine. I’m going there to PASS. That’s my attitude. Now someone back me up, so I can believe it.