5 years later…

First of all, to anyone and everyone who viewed my posts, read them or visited them over the years, thank you. I cannot promise a lot will come from this post or what will, I am going into it blindly. Here we go and bare with me. It’ll be a long one.

A lot has changed. I’ve grown, in more ways than one. I was baffled when I stumbled upon this site. It was like stepping into a time machine at least. Seeing my fifteen year old self write and express herself the way I had here, on a rather broad variety of topics I might add, was inspiring. Very inspiring.

The first and only question that came to mind which I did not and do not have an answer to is ”Why did I stop?”. It could bring tears to my eyes if I let it but I’m going to try and resist. I’m proud of everything I wrote here which may seem so unimportant and silly to you reading, but I lost myself quite a lot during these five years. Reading through the posts made me feel like I’m finding lost pieces of a misplaced puzzle.

I would say I lost myself and found little bits and pieces here and there as the years went on, but seeing my enthusiasm and passion radiating through a lot of the posts on this blog and the previous one which I will not show (that’s a blast to my thirteens and fourteens, I’ll spare you) warmed and ached my heart.
One of the reasons why the thought of deleting this blog and throwing all of the posts into the trash bin felt very sad. I’m not prepared to throw that part of my life away and deleting everything felt just like that.

I will need to update the “About me” post, although a lot of what is written in that post still stands to this day. I still live in Serbia, I still don’t know how to ride a bike, I’m still not going to climb a tree voluntarily, I am still a cat enthusiast, but generally an extreme animal lover. I still enjoy reading books, writing, I still aspire to be a teacher, still 5’4 (remember how I said I’ve grown in more than one way, that wasn’t one of them) … Some things never change.
Some do.

For starters, I am not fifteen anymore. I am twenty-three, going on twenty-four in April. Hm, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Let me think.
I went through High School, I would say pretty successfully. I enrolled into a Philology college and did not have enough money to continue my education after not getting approved for a scholarship due to two missing points in my final report. TWO. I said two. That may be confusing I realize, a lot of things are very different from country to country. In the mean time, I’ve found a wonderful, beautiful man and picked him to be my partner in crime. Still going strong – three and a half years today (12.12.) I changed four jobs after realizing college was not an option for me anymore, or at least for the time being anyway. Happy with my current one that I’ll get into details about another time.

I always imagined myself moving out of my parents house early. It was always associated with the cliché American dream of being sixteen, buying a car for myself and moving out by the age of 18. (For those who succeed at this, how did you do it?) That is a mighty badass thing to accomplish.
I applaud.
I’m not complaining though. I consider moving out to start a life with your partner at twenty-one a big accomplishment.
Especially for it to be a well thought-out process that took patience and money to buy a few appliances and furniture. It was not an impulsive decision, motivated by corrupted desires. It was a wholesome mutual decision and acceptance for the relationship to grow and move forward.

I’m scared of publishing this post. I’m sorry if it felt like a very gloomy one if you’re still reading. It’s all over the place but I’m hoping the next one will be more upbeat. Publishing this one leaves a mark I will leave after five years. Five years since I posted, seven years since I started the blog. I don’t want another five to past before I leave another one. Hell, another one year in fact. I know it relies on me. I accept that and I will try to redeem myself. Make my younger self proud sort of speak.

To anyone who may read this, how are YOU? What have YOU been up to? You may not believe me but I truly am interested and would love to hear whatever you have to say.
I’m gonna stop while I’m still ahead and catch up to some of my fellow bloggers.

Cheers everyone 🙂

I'd love to hear what you have to say!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s