When I first wrote this blogpost a few hours ago, I liked it then more than I like it now. Something about it feels stale and not that well. However, I didn’t want it to go to waste since I did put an awful amount of time actually thinking of descriptive words. And failed. But what else is new!
I don’t know where my ideas come from at this point. I was sitting in my bedroom, looking at my ‘Quote wall’ and thinking about letters. Who woke up one day and decided to write letters the way they are. Why is the letter A in the form it is? Or B? Or M? I can’t really think that far behind because it’s just the way it is now. It makes sense.
Needless to say I started reciting the alphabet in my mind, and most letter’s and words made no sense anymore. Like when you say Blog repeatedly and all of a sudden it doesn’t sound like a word anymore. Then your mind thinks, why is it B-L-O-G. But that’s a bit far-fetched.
I spent about 20 minutes hopelessly trying to decipher every letter and my mind drifted to words. Words made upon a series of letters. Every letter has over a thousand possibilities for a thousand different words. I took a notebook and a pencil and started writing them down, alphabetically. At least all I could think off. Is this weird? I feel like this is weird. How many people stare at a wall and start thinking about the history of our language and trying to decipher reasoning behind it. That just feels like a waste of time.
Anywho, waste of time or not, it gave me this idea. It’s for sure on the Internet already, so let’s then just say it motivated me to actually do it. I didn’t make it up. I’m excited, ’cause I don’t even think I can come up with words that describe me for each letter.
Let’s bet I’m going to go in the deepest depths of my mind and learn new expressions.
A – Affectionate. I am. I’m a cuddler and I always love being close to the ones I care about, but I’m in denial about it. Shh.
B – Blunt. This not honesty per-say, all though I am honest. I’m not sure if this is a bad or a good thing ’cause there are definitely times where you just want to keep your words to yourself, but if I am in a situation that is even merely comfortable, I am blunt with people in every possible way. In a comfortable, non-judgemental crowd it passes as funny.
C – Creative. I do think I am creative, I just don’t put it to good use next to never. When I was a kid, you could not keep my hands away from coloring pencils, markers and paint. Drawing, painting, arts and crafts were my thing. Everything was a canvas for me. Even my white house walls, and my mom’s make up were my supplies. I still feel the burns on my tush.
D – Difficult. I am difficult to deal with sometimes, more than often. When my brain and heart collide, it’s hard to keep track of my movements. My own head fails me. Shown more in friendships and relationships but I truly mean well. My intentions are good, sometimes just missunderstood.
E – Easy-going. Really. Casual. Actually, does this make sense since I’m shy? I can’t say I’m not, I am but if I get comfortable, it’s not at all hard to be around me nor awkward. Everything is just, easy-going.
F – Firm. Something I take pride in. I won’t elaborate, but when I make up my mind about something, I am open to suggestions any time of the day and will make changes if you have a point, but I am not permissive to my surroundings unless I want to be and feel like I should. No one can convince me otherwise but me.
G – Goofy. This is a good thing! I am goof and an idiot when I feel comfortable and when I can be with the people I’m with. When I’m happy. I say the stupidest things and laugh all the time and want to do silly things.
H – Headstrong! Definitely. Kind off like firm, but in a more annoying, childish aspect. Firm is when it comes to character.
I – Independant. Ever since I was little, I wasn’t a needy kid that needed her mom and dad constantly. I liked being alone and I Wanted to make my own soup when I was sick. I’m a big girl, I’m almost 8, I can cook my own soup y’a know.
J – Jobless. Erm…yeah.
K – Know it all. I can be a bit of a know it all. When you get me started on a subject I am passionate about or feel strongly towards, I admit, I can rant on even though when we’ve clearly established it’s the end of the discussion and I go on and on and on and just know everything about everything.
L – Lazy… I hate this flaw. It’s such a waste of everything. Both energy and time. It’s a struggle. I try to be better but I’m too lazy to try harder.
M – Moody. Self-explanatory.
N – Negative or Naive. I couldn’t decide. I’m not negative by nature, but I do have negative thoughts about the most ”important” things. And you can only be naive one too many times but when you drop cold, it’s done. So it goes together really. I’m mostly negative because of everything negative that happened to me, due to me being naive.
O – Open-minded. It’s a tougher rode, but a better one.
P – Protective. Over my family, my friends, my closest ones, my animals. I try my best to prevent any type of harm come to them, emotional, verbal, or physical. God forbid someone tries to touch my animals how they don’t like it. I have no problem stepping up and defending or standing up for someone I love.
Q – Quiet. I am a withdrawn soul. I don’t say much. When I do, I might raise my voice a little bit if I feel I need to for my point to be proven, but 90% of the time, I’m just sitting in the corner, minding my own business and not saying much.
R – Resourceful. Sadly, I am a human being, and sometimes this resourcefulness is one of selfish needs. But really, it just means I am able to pull my own weight when needed and make the best out of a bad situation I am in. As a kid, when I didn’t have much, I made my own unique ways to play and I was never bored.
S – Smart. I feel like I am yes. I make foolish mistakes that don’t really let it shine through. And there are different types of smart. Maybe intelligent is a better word. I have the capacity, I can, I want too, but I don’t. Excuses? Probably.
T – Tiny. I am short, I have small ears, I have tiny hands. Like, really really small hands. Like really. Not baby hands, but not far from it. But I am small all together so it doesn’t matter but comparing hands with others is rather humilliating.
U – Understanding. I don’t judge and I understand flaws. Something everyone should learn to do.
V – Vegetarian. Can’t decide if this describes me, or just states something about me, but try it with me. It’s hard.
W – Wistful. How I got to this idea. My mind traveled back in time.
Y – Youthful. This isn’t a surprise. But I do look a little younger than I am. Many say I look 14. But I don’t try to look older than I am, so, there’s that.
Z – Zombie. Secretly, when the night falls. Boo!