Rest In Peace Baby.

I’ve had too much to think and for the first time my mind didn’t drift apart in a sea of sad and depressing stories and possible outcoms in my life. Which are terrifying in any case. But that didn’t last too long…

If I could have one wish of life, I would wish to have a house, a patch of a warm mountain if possible, where I could keep all of the kitties and animals I would save and cherish and take care off. In my post a few weeks ago, I told you guys about a little kitten I found and saved from a trash can right outside my building. I cleaned him, I fed him from my arms, I took him to the vet every week, I gave him medicine, I played with him every day, I checked on him, cuddled with him, gave him lots of liquids and space and yet, he was still struggling for his little life throughout all this time…
He would have good days and then a couple bad where just couldn’t move and refused to eat. I would lay next to him for hours and tried to calm him down, he didn’t want to sleep.

My poor baby’s heart stopped. It just stopped. He didn’t eat anything he could choke on, I didn’t let him near the other cats because he was very weak and fragile and they like to play rough. I came back home and he was gone. My heart stopped and I started crying. I just don’t understand why. The vet we took him too kept saying that he’s struggling with some internal injuries and infections that can be cured. I really thought he was going to make it. He would be fine, he would eat very nicely and he would cuddle up with me and purr and all of a sudden he’d cringe and groan like he was hurting really bad.
Part of me knew that he might die but after a week, I really thought he would be okay.

I feel like I didn’t do something, I feel like it’s partly my fault. I think I did everything I could but maybe I could’ve done just a little bit more. Maybe it would make a difference. I don’t know, I feel awful.
After awhile I just laid on my bed and thought about him and how much I love my other cats and how much I would give to save every little poor animal that’s struggling for his life.
He was just  a little baby, he became my baby.

I don’t understand. Who left him in the garbage can in the first place? How can someone be so cold? You’re not throwing away a hankerchief or an old bottle of spoiled milk, you’re throwing out a little creature that isn’t able to take care of themselves. Just, why? I will never get it. There are other ways to do these kinds of things and maybe if you hadn’t left him in a garbage can that is so deep he can’t escape from it, he might have lived. It’s like they wanted him to die in there. What would’ve happened if I hadn’t found him and took him out? He was a baby…

This isn’t the first time something like this happened. I’ve attempted to save a lot of cats and have saved a lot. There were other cases where the darlings couldn’t survive, but it’s heart breaking every time for me. I hope that each and every one animal that is struggling finds a home or finds a way out, or at the very least, finds her way around my building and my windows, I’ll do whatever I can and they’ll find eternal shelter in my home and heart.

At least my baby isn’t struggling further. Rest in peace… ❤

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5 thoughts on “Rest In Peace Baby.

  1. My heart aches for you after reading this. What a precious soul you are and although your little one suffered, I hope for you that you can find a little comfort in knowing that for the short time you had with the wee kitten, there is no doubt you brought love, comfort and complete security to his life. May the memories that you made with him bring you comfort. Sending you peace and healing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do find comfort in that. I’m thankful that I was able to be even a little part in his life and make his last few weeks filled with love and security. I’m glad I made him happy for as long as I could. Thank you so much.

      Liked by 1 person

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