What is a type? What does it mean having a type? Is it so important?
Questions that have been running through my mind and kind off why guys and relationships are always a controversial topic. The thought came when I was talking to a friend of mine that does have a type. More on the gothic side than anything else. He asked me if I have my own type for a guy and I was lost for a second.
What does it mean? I actually tried writing a list, to see what it would consist off and I am lost. I don’t know what the word stands for. Most girls, at least the ones around me and all of the girls I see in my Facebook friend’s list, posting their answers off of Ask.fm and the famous question What Do You Look For In A Guy, and they spat about and list 100 different things a guy should do or wear or say. When someone asks me that I don’t know what to answer and have been asked before. I can never figure out what I want to say.
The answers – “I want him to be good, kind, considerate, know how to make me feel better, always be there for me, understand me, dress nicely” are not enough in my opinion to actually describe it. Of course they matter, but, being kind, nice and being able to cheer your partner up and make them smile is the running start, isn’t it? I mean, I don’t think anyone is interested if that ‘basic’ connection isn’t made? That’s what friends do and of course, in a relationship you’re best friends (or should be). That’s what get’s the running sparks flying in the first place.
I don’t think that your ”dream guy” or your perfect guy can be described as someone who is nice and is always there for you. Every guy/girl that you want to be your partner has to have that quality, right? Otherwise, I don’t see how any kind of connection would be made. I know there are people who like to get together with someone absolutely new, someone they just met and find physically attractive. Granted, you can’t know what kind of person he/she is and there’s a lot of surprises to be expected. You don’t know them.
Personally, I am not for that and exactly because of that element of surprise.
I think I am very weird when it comes to this and there is so much I would need to say. My list, would honestly consist of characteristics more. Traits one human can have. I’m just guessing that when someone says “type”, they mean materialistic things, things on the outside. How someone dresses, how tall a person is, what status do they have in their group of friends (how popular someone is), their hair color, eye color, what shoes do they wear.
Now, I’m giving you examples of all of what I’ve heard, from strangers, friends & family. I don’t actually know but that’s what I’ve heard and personally, to me it’s utterly stupid.
I’m sensing that, if a person doesn’t have these “qualities” and doesn’t fit into someone’s type, that the opposite of these said “qualities” is a fault and is bad. Like someone having a type means that what they think they want and need is something that everyone should want and need, because it just Should be like that. I don’t think so.
Unneccesary to say that everyone is different and types to me, give out a certain standard one should be able to fulfill in order to make someone happy. I don’t like that. Like stereotypical listing.
Geeks, nerds, goth’s, metal-heads, popular kids, jocks and ect. One can truly be a true geek, nerd or metal-head and be proud of it but As if one person can’t be a mixture of two said ‘labels’.
More to the point, I’ve seen cases where people follow their type to the point of not seeing further from it. It’s either that way or no way. And in most cases they’re looking for something ideal or perfect. You can kiss that goodbye.
Why? Well three reasons;
There is no such thing as a perfect human.
You yourself aren’t perfect therefore can’t expect anything more from anyone else.
Even if people think that their type is something they for sure want and need in a partner, it doesn’t have to be that way. It can be what you like, what you would prefer, but don’t make the mistake of completely dismissing someone because of one, deficiency. It doesn’t have to be a deficiency at all. A type is maybe just a fantasy, but it’s not near to what you actually need.
And why did you start writing your own list if you think this way? Well because, I was curious to see that if I would have anything I would want and if I were to generalize it on all males, what would it be. So far I have nothing that I think falls under the socialized term Type.
I may be wrong, I may be absolutely misunderstanding the word but even so, what I have said still stands for those who feel the way I decribed. However it’s called.
For sure there are things that I don’t like right off the bat. Things that I find un-appealing that a guy does or says or even looks. I can’t like everyone in every way. But when it does come to liking someone, I don’t look at them, check them out head-to-toe and have a list in my head, go through it and check point boxes if they have the traits I’m looking for.
Things I need in my partner is undestanding and for him to be open-minded and, not too surprising I hope, to not hate animals. It is such an important factor for me heheh. 😀 He doesn’t have to like cats, I won’t undestand it but I can accept it. But not liking animals at all, not one, being an animal hater, no.
I don’t need him to dress in a certain way, listen to a certain type of music and so on. It’s great if we do fall under the same interests, that attractive and makes the conversations going lighter, but I don’t know.
I don’t like saying that someone has to have the same interests or to make me laugh, to be kind and nice, I feel like I am giving them a pattern to follow while of course I won’t be interested if he’s mean and douchey.
Just why include it.